Summer lovin / Holiday romance / Moving on / Love

[LostLondoner]

Hi there,

I don't usually post anonymously on forums asking for advice on love... but I'm really stuck. Just a week ago I returned from working ten weeks in Cape Town, South Africa. I live in the UK, and knew I was only going for a relatively short time and had to come back. I met someone while out there, and the relationship developed pretty quickly. We never officially dated because I always had to leave and neither of us knew what life would be like after my return. I saw him several times a week and we went out places a lot. He gave me gifts, items of his own clothing, and sang. Towards the end of my trip, I was devastated that I had to leave, and he was too. He cried the night before I left, and came to the airport too. When I arrived back in the UK, he called me and told me he loves me, but I wasn't sure how to interpret it.

But then something really shocking happened. A few days later he told me he had started seeing someone else. There was a girl he had been messaging a bit while I was still there, and I knew but he told me he doesn't like her. When we talked about it just yesterday, he told me he met her because I had left and he couldn't bring himself to wait and believe that I'd be back for him. He also used it to figure out how strong my feelings for him are, and realised he'd made a mistake. Now I just don't know what to do. I think he still doubts the ability for him to maintain a long distance relationship, and will likely still see this girl (whether or not he tells me about her.) But me... I'm just incredibly hurt. I don't know if I can trust him anymore, or whether or not I actually want him in my life. It's so painful, and thinking about cutting him out forever makes it worse.

I'd appreciate any advice or thoughts!

Thanks,

LL x

[Boisdevie]

Thoughts? Stop acting like a child. I assume that you're not a multi-millionaire so nipping down to Johannesburg in your Learjet for the weekend is not possible. It's thousands of ****ing miles away - how the hell do you expect any relationship to work with that kind of distance? From the sounds of it he understands the reality of the situation and has found somebody he can actually spend time with.
Nobody forced you to even get involved with this guy knowing you were only there for a limited period of time. Are you really that stupid?

[woody]

Sounds rather romantic but a also a World of Heart ache. Hey, follow your gut. He started seeing this other lady pretty quick after you left and his reasoning seems like a cop out. Do you want a guy like that in your life? Let alone the distance and the wondering, the trust or lack there of.

Your not stupid. A romantic perhaps but not daft.
Good news?, your open to Love. and its allot closer to home than you think.

[4 ratties]

Him jumping in with that other woman is a big red flag. I mean you guys weren't official but if your going to try a long distance relationship you really need to be crazy about eachother and it really doesn't sound like he's ready for that commitment with you.