Hi I have a problem with my long term girlfriend and family :(

[DolphinYeltz]

So basically I've been with my girlfriend 3 and half years now. About 2 years into the relationship I discovered she had kissed a friend on a night out after I stormed off in an argument...anyway obviously affected me, but I felt I could get over it and forgive her. I have.

The main reasons I didn't split up are:

1. I love her so much and couldn't bare the thought of not being with her.
2. I didn't want to make a rash decision and have the thought 'what if I could have forgiven her'.
3. Finally, we all make mistakes, that's why pencils have rubbers on the end.

I'm now very happy with the relationship, I love the girl to bits. It was a bit rocky after the above, but now we're fine. I know I'm probably going to be seen as a pushover etc but hey, I'm happy.

Now, today, my brother whom I'm very close to has found out about this incident, so now my brother and Mother now know. I don't want to fall out with my family which looks like I will, because I'm not going to leave my girlfriend after working so hard to save this relationship.

My brothers exact words were; 'I'm disgusted in you'.

I don't want to chose. I don't want to lose my family. I want both parties in my life. But I'm being forced out, as it stands right now.

Depressing, upsetting and stressing.

Don't know what I should do.

[michelle23]

Just tell them. She made a mistake ONCE, it was a stupid kiss and you forgave her. You love her and they need to back off. Plenty of people have forgiven much worse (which i dont understand how they can) but a kiss can be forgiven and its your life and its your choice. You just need to stand up for yourself and tell them its none of their business

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[smackie9]

You can say "I know you have concern for my welfare because I am family BUT I'm an adult and I will make my own decisions on what I do with my relationship issues." "This was between me and her, and we have worked it out. So I would appreciate that you keep your comments to yourself."

[DolphinYeltz]

Thanks for the advice. I've felt sick all day. Just want everyone to get along, it means a lot. Not going to happen ever now.

Worse comes to worse I'll have to move out, I don't want to, but I'm starting to think I have no option.

I will do my best to maintain a relationship with my Mom and my Brother, but if they don't one as long as I'm with my girlfriend I suppose that's their fault? I will always leave the door open and will always be there if they ever want them. I love my Mom and Brother so much. Wish they'd understand

[michelle23]

This will blow over. Just relax. Let them calm down

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[smackie9]

They will never respect you if you don't stand up for yourself. I can't see why this would put a strain of your relationship with them.....maybe moving out would be the best thing....so they can stop meddling in your business. Seriously they are being very immature about it.

[DolphinYeltz]

Thanks again, just felt the need to post something on a relationship forum. It has helped a little. Thank you.

[Wakeup]

You move out and the first thing they're going to do is think that SHE talked you into it. Don't move out while you're on bad terms, I say. Get it settled and to the point where they are not going to be rude and insensitive to her when they see her. Then once you're all talking and it's been accepted, move out then.

What are you going to accomplish by alienating them from the two of you? She might not be your last girlfriend, you're going to want family around should the relationship deteriorate in the future.

Just my 2 cents.

[michelle23]

Ya i dont think moving out when everything is up in the air like this is a good idea either. Give them some time. Then just talk to them and say it was a long time ago, it was a difficult time for you but you worked through it, you forgive her and trust her and they need to accept that. If they cant then they are immature and need to get over themselves. Your an adult its your choice

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[Kapilgupta]

So you concern famous astrologer. It has gives a best advice for life and solve your all problems.

[anastasis]

Ah, the old starcrossed lovers.

I'll just give you a bit of advice, though: never listen to your family on anything whatsoever from this point on. Families are strange things. They fight, break up, don't talk to each other for decades, and then one day talk to each other like nothing was ever wrong. That's what families do. More than half the time they have no idea what they are talking about anyway.

I'd go with the heart and the long term on this one unless you want to marry your brother and mother. They aren't going to hold their relationships for you, though, I can promise.