Even gentle Violet is starting to have some edge lol.
Even gentle Violet is starting to have some edge lol.
We actually scared away a few newer regulars this year due to the bad and negative advice given on this forum. Honestly, we could do with a little "cleanup" in order to bring back some high quality posts and posters. This forum has seen less and less posts over the past couple of years because most threads go like this:
OP) Hey everyone, I'm not good with relationships and need advice...
Reply) You're a cunt bitch slut who should die
Reply) He should dump you or you him because you don't respect each other
Reply) You're co-dependant and don't understand relationships (usually the reason the OP was here in the first place)
OP Reply) Ok, what can I do to make it better?
Reply) YOU CAN'T, YOU SUCK AT LIFE, EAT A DICK
This is a brief summary of how I see some newbies get treated around here.
"All is fair in love and war." - Francis Edward Smedley
Hahah Cerby you made me LOL XD... that is so true, especially the first reply. The second reply is also often true but usually correct though, and it's actually helpful advice. People that come here asking for advice are in unhealthy relationship most of the times (not always).
The advice is correct usually, the presentation rarely is. Most replies here lack empathy, which is required when communication someone who is in need of emotional help. This is why michelle was banned from another forum, her advice MAY have been sound, but her communication method was far from.
Don't get me wrong, we have some quality members here, but we also have some pretty crappy regulars. I wish I had been around the forum more the last 6 months, but life hasn't been supportive of having free time.
"All is fair in love and war." - Francis Edward Smedley
So far I've found these forums to be quite pleasant. I don't see an issue really.
At least his forum have what it takes to attract members like anastasis. I realy dont know any bad regulars. Thing is most people dont come here to waste time. But those who do sooner or later become good at it. Most promising members leave before becoming popular cause this forum becomes boring real fast for those who dont last.
Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will
The only people I am not nice to are cheaters. I am empathetic with most people and I have been thanked and emailed personally thousands of times by newbies. Many email me for more advice (my inbox is full once a week) so I doubt I have scared anyone off this forum.
"Don't ask a question if you can't handle the answer".
Plus I havnt been on here much throughout august, september, november.. i had a new job and was busy.
"Don't ask a question if you can't handle the answer".
Kinda been thinking about it lately. If I needed advise about females I would go to you Michelle. Cause you have a good view from female point of view and seems like you understand well how they function. Probably you have lot of girlfriends in all shapes and sizes whos coming to you for advice and every one of them have their own story attached to.
Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will
Ya my friends and family always come to me for advice. My dad calls me an agony aunt. My family call me "dear deirdre" as a joke. She answers the problems in the newspaper lol.. and they all say they dono where they got me from coz im so sensible. Sometimes my advice may be a little blunt or harsh but it comes from a good place. I have a big heart and my only motivation is to help. Sometimes tough love is better than a pat on the back.
"Don't ask a question if you can't handle the answer".
Deidre is good, Michelle. Actually used to wach those videos on phone when I had Orange. Its like a British mini love forum lol, all those advices and options despite its actors in videos lol.
I wish my friends and relatives would come to me for advice too but I keep these powers in secret so they have no idea. Still at work I helped out some guys with this knowledge.
Do you find it diferent when giving advice to people that you know? Michelle is it easier to write or talk for you in process?
Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will
Its the same thing really. Its easier IRL coz they can see your body language and hear tone of voice so they know Im not being a b**ch lol. They never get defensive etc..
"Don't ask a question if you can't handle the answer".
Yeah its nicer to get responses in life cause some people are realy open about and thankful.
Still for me its easier to read topic and take my time to come up with answer if needed. Guess with family its diferent cause you know whats going on before theres even a problem.
Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will
"All is fair in love and war." - Francis Edward Smedley