Mindgames or what??

[honeypie]

Hi guys :-)

This is quite long, but I'll try to cut it down.

I had a thing going on with this guy, which stopped 6 months ago, but somehow things ended badly between us and I never got any answers from him, which is why it's even more difficult to move on, because I keep thinking "what in the world went wrong". And now I hope you (men) can sort this one out for me. We knew each other for 8 months.

We met at college and he was ALL over me. I was studying hard, so I wasn't looking for anything to begin with, but I changed my mind as time went by. He was texting, calling, asked me on dates, but I wasn't in a position to do that with him due to school and work. He respected that and said he would wait till the right time. So in the end we went out on multiple dates and it was great.. There were kisses and it never evolved into anything apart from that due to our same religion. The chasing was over, he had me! And I thought that he would back off, if it had been all about the chasing for him. But he didn't and he still wanted to hang out with me and vice versa.

BUT! He started to lie! Lies lies lies! And I have never understood why! He told me he had not had any relationships before me, which would have been totally fine with me (come on that's normal) but I found out he has had a long term relationship with his high school girlfriend. On our 6th date or so we were walking in a park and I just randomly said "last time I was in this park it wasnt this beautiful" and his reply was "with whom"? I looked at him and I didn't know what to say about it, it was just weird. And I knew that he would get his rage out someway or another (even though he pretended to be calm afterwards). He did. In the end of the date we were talking about names, and he said "Well your name starts with A too" and I looked at him angry because my name starts with M, and he said "well your name has letter A". I guess that was his way of taking revenge.

He did a lot of these small unnecessary things, which made me back off.. I stopped texting him, and I only replied to his texts. The weird part is, that he would know information about me that I've NEVER told him.. wat tha hell? He was treating me like a baby, and it was good, but something was just off about this guy. And I've never understood whether I was not being careful about his jealousy (I guess) or if this is (seriously) just bad behavior of an immature guy?

He did a lot of these things, and the last thing he did was this: We were talking on the phone, and he suddenly turned the speakers on. I told him I could hear myself and he panicked and turned the speakers off. In the end of the conversations he wanted me to say that I love him and he said "WE can't hear you" which occurred after our conversation. I asked him, it was his sister. I told him he was lying. He said he was all by himself. I said he was lying. He trying to turn everything around and I let it go, and told him a few days after that, that it wasn't working for me. He tried to convince me to stay but I told him every weird thing he had done to me and his reply "what are you reacting NOW, why didn't you react back then"?

My question: He admitted that he did it on purpose by the last sentence, but why this behavior to begin with?

PS: He started to come to my classes at college after I broke it off, even though he weren't suppose to be there, staring at me all the time.

I would REALLY appreciate your answers in order for me to move on.

[smackie9]

There is no way of ever knowing why. His explanation for his abnormal behavior can only be answered by him. Sometimes it's just better to not know, and be glad that this twit is no longer involved in your life. Life is too short to waste energy on even thinking about a person that treats you like crap. Just move on.

[woody]

Yeah, going to your classes and staring at you is considered stalking. You know this right? I mean come on, do you really want someone like that in your life? Weirdness and not the good kind. He lies, he stalks, he plays games. There's your answer.
good luck

[honeypie]

Thank you for your answers.

He did have some stalking traits about him, especially because he knew information about me that no one knows about me - information that he could only have access to if he knew someone from my high school (which he doesn't) or if he hacks into my computer remotely, but I don't know if that's possible :/

And I agree life IS too short, but it's just difficult to separate the thought of "what tha hell went wrong" from "I'm relieved that I don't have to deal with his weird behavior".

[smackie9]

I say he is creeeeeeeeeeeeeeeepyyyyyyyyyy!