Lost Sex Life

[michelle23]

Okay I do care if she enjoys it too i'm not a total a**hole I just suck at foreplay I get her off during sex I just don't eat her out, I tried that and I tried fingering her, when i tried fingering she stopped me right away and told me she hates being fingered and when I eat her out it just doesn't do anything so I guess I just stopped trying.

Most women need foreplay. It takes time for the vaginal walls to lubricate sufficiently for penetration. She probably fakes it just to get it over with coz dry sex hurts a lot and is v uncomfortable.

It should have taken you a month, maybe two to figure out oral. Yet 4 years later you could not be bothered and sex has become a chore to her. The only way you can fix this is to stop having sex with her until you figure out what she likes and how to get her off. Make it all about her for a change and you may see some improvements

as for fingering her: try being more gentle

[Cerby]

Okay I do care if she enjoys it too i'm not a total a**hole I just suck at foreplay I get her off during sex I just don't eat her out, I tried that and I tried fingering her, when i tried fingering she stopped me right away and told me she hates being fingered and when I eat her out it just doesn't do anything so I guess I just stopped trying.

There are right and wrong ways to use your fingers. As far as I know no female wants to get "jackhammered" by your fingers. There is a technique mixed with whatever her preference is. The reason she has told you not to do it is because she doesn't enjoy the way you do it. If you resign that you "suck" at it, then you'll never get better, and your sex life will continue to get worse.

[Wakeup]

Well, I'm not sure how you figure out what she likes by stopping having sex so I'll suggest that you experiment with her and ask her to guide you. Maybe if you watched her masturbate you be able to follow her lead. Get some toys and play with them together.

I doubt very much that you're getting her off through intercourse if you're not getting her revved up enough to actually cum. Most women need clitoral stimulation and if you haven't figured out how to rub her clit while thrusting your rod and your staff that comfort her then I doubt she's really finishing.

[Wakeup]

I spend time with her whenever I can i love spending time with her, and i suck at foreplay so i just gave up on it.

It all depends on HOW you spend your time with her... Read Cerby's response #5 again. If you're sitting on a couch drinking while you practically ignore one another then that is hardly seduction at it's finest, junior.

[juniorrox1]

Well, I'm not sure how you figure out what she likes by stopping having sex so I'll suggest that you experiment with her and ask her to guide you. Maybe if you watched her masturbate you be able to follow her lead. Get some toys and play with them together.

I doubt very much that you're getting her off through intercourse if you're not getting her revved up enough to actually cum. Most women need clitoral stimulation and if you haven't figured out how to rub her clit while thrusting your rod and your staff that comfort her then I doubt she's really finishing.

Okay um i dont think shed ever masturbate in front of me, she wont admit that she does it i think its hot but she wont admit it and ill be flat out honest the thought of her playing with toys even with me there intimidates me because i know she can get herself off better than i can and i dont want her using toys as a substitute for me, and if u guys really think shes faking it then maybe we should break up because im just not good enough for her and we do a lot of stuff together i always take her out we seem to have fun but maybe shes faking that too

[Cerby]

Maybe, if you want to play the self pity card no one will stop you. We all suggest that in order to get things back on track, you focus on your relationship, both spiritually and sexually. You are here wondering why you have problems, but unwilling to listen to several good suggestions about fixing them.

This thread has been packed with good advice, you just aren't hearing what you want, so you're dismissing it. You need to simply put in some effort and you'll be rewarded.

[juniorrox1]

You all gave me some really good advice, i just hate that i need advice im a man i should b able to fix things on my own not ask for help but your right i asked for help and i got it im gonna try taking her out to a nice dinner tonight and make the night all about her

[HeartIsAching]

What is this, the 1950's?

Best thing you can do for your sex life is take an interest in learning how to pleasure your lover.

[juniorrox1]

THank you all for the good advice i took her out last night and made it an all about her night taking your suggestions to heart and while we cant fix all our problems in one night we are off to a great start so thank you

[michelle23]

Your welcome. Now you need to ask her for feedback in the bedroom. Ask her to guide you and help you to get her off