What do men really need?

[Mimi13]

Hiya,
this topic may probably seem stupid to many, many people but
I really have no clue what to do about it at the moment.

We're both 20; having our first "mature" relationship.

I have a higher sex drive than him and am sexually open minded.
He's more traditional and restrained, liking more "close" sex.

On my demand we were having really rough sex; we both enjoyed it.
At one point though, I started feeling like I am not good enough sexually / attractive enough
for him ( I wanted to try a threesome; he said yes. Only after him agreeing, I noticed I
couldn't do it and started feeling like I'm not enough. )

He tells me every day how lucky he is to have me and that he bet thought he could get a girl like me - just from looks.

I thought my insecurity issues were gone after a few weeks, and on my demand we started having even more rough sex, while he was watching porn or telling me which girls he'd like to sleep with and why.

The thought of him cheating on me started turning me on so much, I asked him several times to sleep with another girl. He said he doesn't want to for several reasons.

All my sexual thoughts are controlled by these thoughts now and I can only come thinking of him
cheating on me with a way hotter girl.

Now obviously it was stupid to initiate all of this stuff because I am too immature to handle it.

I became really uptight with him stating at other girls and having his own sexuality, which is completely immature and unfair of me.
I explained him my situation several times and he's understanding

Now, at the moment I am considering breaking up, because the thoughts in my head
are getting worse and causing me to feel horrible and disgusted by my own body.

I can't seem to get in my head, that he would be turned on physically by other girls, if he thinks I'm as attractive as he says - the most he could imagine.
Obviously I'm okay with him watching porn, but I'm scared of his thoughts when he sees pretty girls.
I'm scared he might either completely forget about me during these moments, or think he'd love to shag them ( so much more than me ), and how hot they are.

Naturally I can't ask him about that, and having generally not much experience with how guys are thinking - other from what they like sexually - I'm clueless.

I get hurt so much about him thinking that way - if he is that it literally makes me feel sick in my stomach.
I've tried to forget about it or just handle it, but it doesn't work. It's causing me much stress and him as well.

In my head, he turned from my shy, cute, absolutely in love with me boyfriend to a greedy man who I my thinks about shagging every girl he sees.

Did I just get to know him better? Am I really this immature, clueless and sensible about men?
How do you think about hot girls on the streets?
Do you completely forget about your gf's/wives?
If you compare them, do they loose?

I don't want to feel guilty anymore for holding him back and not letting him have his freedom.
If men really are that way, I'm sure if be able to handle him having sex with others in reality ( not just fantasy ).
I just feel like I'm keeping him from living his natural self, which would be having sex with as many girls as possible - or maybe I just really have no clue about how men are like!

[Over The Fence]

Removed this one from the spam filter, sorry about that OP!

[michelle23]

I think you need counselling OP. You are encouraging him to sleep with others even though it makes you bonkers??

And no not all men want to shag every hot woman they see. Some are far happier in a stable honest relationship with one woman. All you gotta do really to keep him happy is be affectionate, compliment him, have regular good sex and keep him well fed and men are happy.. they are simple creatures. Food, sex, companionship, love.. most mens dream

oh and its an added bonus if you keep yourself looking and smelling good and make him laugh regularly

[RipVanWinkleX]

I would never sudjest letting my partner sleep with someone else. I agreed to let my ex-fiance to do it once; we both regretted it. Just because guys like sex, doesn't mean keeping a guy is all about sex. Even if you are the worst partner in bed, a guy can still fall in love with you.



Did I just get to know him better? Am I really this immature, clueless and sensible about men? (( You are just scared. The fear of losing someone you love is a horrible feeling.))


How do you think about hot girls on the streets? ((As much as a female think about hot guys on the streets))


Do you completely forget about your gf's/wives? ((No... And I wish I could forget my ex.))


If you compare them, do they loose? ((Compare them to who? Other woman? No, they will never lose. Well my ex now yes. But when I was with her there was no one else but her.))


If you are uncomfortable about being in a open relationship then say so. If he leaves you because of it then it's for the best. But if he truly loves you he will comply.