Hanging by a Thread

[Madikarp]

My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost two years. For the past couple of months we have been fighting and arguing over nothing, but it keeps getting worse. There are a few things I need help with. He says that I have changed. That I'm needy and insecure. He gets mad and irritated with me and he has never felt that was towards me. We don't want to break up. We want to work through this because we want to be together, we just don't know how. He told me that he has lost some of his feelings towards me. He doesn't love me or want me as much as he used to. I don't know what happened. He thinks he'll never be happy again, and I'm hurt because he doesn't feel the same way I feel about him. I'm willing to do anything for this boy. I feel like I'm putting so much effort into making things better for us, and he's not doing as much as I would like him to do. We have what I call a short-long-distance relationship. We live in opposite sides of our city and now we go to different schools. I only see him every couple weeks. I feel lost when I think of things I could do for him to win his heart back. Help me. Give me some advice and some suggestions. Pretty please.

[HeartIsAching]

Under what circumstances does he say you're needy and insecure?

[basilandthyme]

I also want to know the answer to HIA's question. Also, do you agree that you're needy and insecure? If so, what brings this insecurity on? And what do you do which makes him get mad and irritated with you?

[smackie9]

"He told me that he has lost some of his feelings towards me. He doesn't love me or want me as much as he used to. I don't know what happened. He thinks he'll never be happy again," this doesn't sound like someone who wants to "work through this and be together and doesn't want to breakup".

He says you have changed, but you say he has change, and has never acted this way before.....this looks to me he's hiding something from you.





Usually when behavior changes it's because they have met someone, that's why feelings have changed. I'm not saying he is cheating on you, just that he could find himself attracted to another so now he questions his feelings for you. Best way to approach this is calmly, without any hostile accusation, and ask him for the truth......is there a possibility he wants to date other people? And he just can't bring himself to admit it? Deep down do you wonder about this is what could be going on?

[Madikarp]

I also want to know the answer to HIA's question. Also, do you agree that you're needy and insecure? If so, what brings this insecurity on? And what do you do which makes him get mad and irritated with you?

I don't think I'm needy and insecure. On rare occasions I may act that way, but I wouldn't label myself as needy and insecure.

Sometimes I'll repeat myself. I think that's why he gets irritated with me. Other than that, I don't know what else could be making him mad.

[Madikarp]

Thank you. I talked to him about a possible interest in another girl, and he said no. I believe him.

[smackie9]

If that isn't the case then it's the distance, the lack of real time together, and the honeymoon stage has past and there is nothing to be interested in anymore.

[HeartIsAching]

I don't think I'm needy and insecure. On rare occasions I may act that way, but I wouldn't label myself as needy and insecure.

Sometimes I'll repeat myself. I think that's why he gets irritated with me. Other than that, I don't know what else could be making him mad.

You still haven't answered my question.