+ Follow This Topic
Results 1 to 11 of 11

Thread: my friend is feeling like this.. what shall i do to help him?

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct 2013
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    india
    Posts
    25

    my friend is feeling like this.. what shall i do to help him?

    well thing is, he is "just" feeling lonely
    ive asked him personally whats bothering him that why is he's feeling so lonely
    and all i get is i dont know why..
    now ive pushed the buttons as well tried everything
    and he is one of my close friends now so i know even he aint lying about it,
    i know its really hurting him but all he says is just dont know
    and it hurts like there is an empty space in his heart
    like i know most of all of the things about him now
    and in short all i can describe about him is
    he is 15 and out of loneliness since childhood that he has been facing
    he has done many things and still doing them like,
    gym, motocross, volleyball, into reading and many more
    he even told, he cant sleep sometimes and gets breakdowns
    plus randomly gets depressed and cries
    now ive been there to support and help him out of this mess
    but this aint helping at all instead i feel like im troubling him
    cant tell to parents because parents dont cooperate much
    has little baby brother and he is the one of the oldest
    with responsibilities he is a strong guy no doubt and is funny
    all those things dont happen everyday but they happen frequently
    now they have moved recently here so now ik about him well

    this is how he describes himself
    listens to it and tells every word of it is true and fits him


    i care a lot so i want to help, thats my nature
    and im looking for best possible solutions for it here if i can get any
    ive recommended to visit a psychiatrist but he cant go and let that know to his parents
    because his aunt was a nut case, locked herself up and tried to hurt herself on and on
    this could be biological as he has no reason for it to feel that pain and loneliness
    but then its just an assumption and if that thing parents get to know he would be sent to an asylum like his aunt
    that what he fears i wouldnt blame him for that but what now
    please i need your reviews on this thank you
    Last edited by HarryN; 03-01-14 at 11:55 AM.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    Latvia
    Posts
    5,054
    Well hes fcking dickhead. Looks like dude fell in love and ended up alone when his heart had most love to give.

    Anyway this should help him. Also as long as he dont talk the pain will remain unshared.

    loveforum.net/threads/85672-Guide-How-to-deal-with-breakup


    From first when you described the your friend it seemed like hes addicted to drugs. Well love is pretty much like drugs. So take that in note. He might want to isolate himself but at this stage guy shouldnt be alone. Basicaly ussualy mistake after breakup is stoping life - hobbies, responsibilities, friends. Everything seems worthless but ignoring these things make person fall even more in black cause he do it because of the girl and it makes him only more attached/invested. Normal life should be contiuned regardless of feelings and eventually person feels better when doing something.

    What you can do is get your friend outside and do something fun together. Use force if needed. Extreme results requires extreme actions.
    BTw tell him to stop listening stupid songs. He need keep away from everything that stimulates his brains that way.

    BTW at your age I was listening this
    Last edited by pcmaster; 03-01-14 at 12:41 PM.
    Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Oct 2013
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    india
    Posts
    25
    Quote Originally Posted by pcmaster View Post
    Well hes fcking dickhead. Looks like dude fell in love and ended up alone when his heart had most love to give.

    Anyway this should help him. Also as long as he dont talk the pain will remain unshared.

    loveforum.net/threads/85672-Guide-How-to-deal-with-breakup


    From first when you described the your friend it seemed like hes addicted to drugs. Well love is pretty much like drugs. So take that in note. He might want to isolate himself but at this stage guy shouldnt be alone. Basicaly ussualy mistake after breakup is stoping life - hobbies, responsibilities, friends. Everything seems worthless but ignoring these things make person fall even more in black cause he do it because of the girl and it makes him only more attached/invested. Normal life should be contiuned regardless of feelings and eventually person feels better when doing something.

    What you can do is get your friend outside and do something fun together. Use force if needed. Extreme results requires extreme actions.
    BTw tell him to stop listening stupid songs. He need keep away from everything that stimulates his brains that way.
    Thanks for your help man no doubt you are helping but on a serious note,
    if any of those things were happening like love issue or drugs i would have mentioned
    i asked that and been there around
    plus this guy goes out like cmon he keeps himself busy out there
    he surely not been in love i mean there have been small crushes but never in love as he has mentioned
    so love is out of the equation and thats the problem here if not that
    then why feel lonely the reason himself doesnt know but he feels that and is hurting him like eating him as i said earlier

  4. #4
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    Latvia
    Posts
    5,054
    Oh now I understand. Its because of unexpressed sexual energy. If he dont masturbate or dont work very hard then theres lot of spare energy thats killing. After 2 weeks of suffering church helped me. Good church can be realy relaxing when you listen and belive in that holy shit.

    I remember being around girl always made me wana fight and I was breaking stuff or barely holding back not to fight with annoying people around me. Its realy hormones thats causing it. When theres too much of it. It causes pain in heart - makes you feel lonely. Likes theres a lot to give but no one to give it. Your friend just need break touch barrier with girls and start talk with ones he finds attractive. Girls are pretty simple at that age - you touch them and they think you like them and they like you just because of it.

    Its pretty hard age - mid teens. One of my classmates had 3 stages - barely moving after hard workout in gym last night, girl on his lap on every break, or breaking stuff in classroom.

    Other things that helps control sex drive is few cold showers a day - first one right after waking up, and lots of food kill sexdrive aswell. Spending time in ,nature - fresh air for long, being around few friends all the time. Basicaly socialy and physicaly challenging situtations will help for sure.
    Last edited by pcmaster; 03-01-14 at 02:36 PM.
    Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Oct 2013
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    india
    Posts
    25
    Quote Originally Posted by pcmaster View Post
    Oh now I understand. Its because of unexpressed sexual energy. If he dont masturbate or dont work very hard then theres lot of spare energy thats killing. After 2 weeks of suffering church helped me. Good church can be realy relaxing when you listen and belive in that holy shit.

    I remember being around girl always made me wana fight and I was breaking stuff or barely holding back not to fight with annoying people around me. Its realy hormones thats causing it. When theres too much of it. It causes pain in heart - makes you feel lonely. Likes theres a lot to give but no one to give it. Your friend just need break touch barrier with girls and start talk with ones he finds attractive. Girls are pretty simple at that age - you touch them and they think you like them and they like you just because of it.

    Its pretty hard age - mid teens. One of my classmates had 3 stages - barely moving after hard workout in gym last night, girl on his lap on every break, or breaking stuff in classroom.

    Other things that helps control sex drive is few cold showers a day - first one right after waking up, and lots of food kill sexdrive aswell. Spending time in ,nature - fresh air for long, being around few friends all the time. Basicaly socialy and physicaly challenging situtations will help for sure.
    Personally i dont think sex is an answer, putting him up into challenges to go out and to do exciting stuff and talk to people seems like a good idea and he is doing it in small amounts after his all hobbies, sports and work he accepted it and as you can see he trust on people as well he wants to get out of it thats why he shared it with me but c'mon i cant be recommending a depressed 15year old guy to masturbate and to do sex or to touch girls that might be more awkward for him and can block his remaining confidence as well if he got shut down. cant risk that. im searching for opinions here for an alternative to help this 15 YEAR OLD GUY out. no offence.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Oct 2013
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    india
    Posts
    25
    so any help i can get except that? :/
    really need your views people

  7. #7
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    Latvia
    Posts
    5,054
    I didnt suggest masturbation or sex lol. I thinkk you are just seeing what you want to see. The added up sexual energy can realy be the cause of depresion but this energy can be used in creativity, sports, studies,work etc. Basicaly be busy all the time. Health sleep hygiene realy helps with depresion cause while in sleep, peace or happines the nerves are recovering. In theory at least 10 hours are needed for nerves to recover while 8 hours are enought for body. High protein food affects mood positive too. I mentioned girls because 15 is age when its normal to start get social with them and push the limits with the ones who is worth it. Just having girl that are friend can help big time with focusing on studies and life in general. However you have to find out whats realy are the reason for his depresion before we can give you real advice not based on queses.
    Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Oct 2013
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    india
    Posts
    25
    Quote Originally Posted by pcmaster View Post
    I didnt suggest masturbation or sex lol. I thinkk you are just seeing what you want to see. The added up sexual energy can realy be the cause of depresion but this energy can be used in creativity, sports, studies,work etc. Basicaly be busy all the time. Health sleep hygiene realy helps with depresion cause while in sleep, peace or happines the nerves are recovering. In theory at least 10 hours are needed for nerves to recover while 8 hours are enought for body. High protein food affects mood positive too. I mentioned girls because 15 is age when its normal to start get social with them and push the limits with the ones who is worth it. Just having girl that are friend can help big time with focusing on studies and life in general. However you have to find out whats realy are the reason for his depresion before we can give you real advice not based on queses.

    well i did got your point of view but that "energy" you are talking about is being already put out there by him like i already mentioned above
    plus this guy CANT sleep pushing him to sleep is pointless ive tried that and he just got mad over me like what am i his gf -_-
    anyways ive advised those things already to him and wish i could or he could know the reason himself
    as far as girls are concerned he is out there like cmon who doesnt like a guy on bike but he doesnt wanna interact that much himself so what can i do?

  9. #9
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    Latvia
    Posts
    5,054
    Well this guy seems special. He should see a family doctor. Im sure there is expierienced doctors who dealt with similar cases and they might know excatly whats up and easly help. No need to struggle when there is proffesionals whos job is to help.

    My friends sister had something similar going on and doctors gave her some light meds that helped a bit.

    The fact that his aunt was nut case doesnt mean he have to take blame of that. Maybe if she would look for help early she would be okay now. When you ignore something it becomes meaningless or most importand thing in the world.

    Dude have to start with family doctor and then Doc would know how to help or to which doctor send him to. This could be physical aswell as mental based issue. Everyone have problems, happy people solve them before it becomes bigger problem, unhappy people do opposite. "Its not the problem its attitude about the problem."
    Last edited by pcmaster; 05-01-14 at 05:00 AM.
    Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Oct 2013
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    india
    Posts
    25
    thanks for all your help but as i see its not going to work anymore
    his parents dont want to see me around because im too old -_- and could be a bad influence to him
    he has been troubled according to his parents
    so thank you all for your help
    still ill try if i could work out anything here to help him

  11. #11
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    Latvia
    Posts
    5,054
    It sucks when parents give up on their kids. Maybe alone they would be okay but negative attitude from parents is what makes it impossoble. Its like parrents give up on themself thats why not beliveing kid can make it. Maybe you even show where they fail with your belief. However put yourself in first place and maybe even help in this passive way by being inspiration. You can help somone only to the level you can help yourself.
    Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will

Similar Threads

  1. Feeling ovsessive/infactuated over a friend. Want to get my head on track.
    By Mast3rDuck in forum Personal Development Forum
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 05-08-13, 11:09 AM
  2. Back in contact with a childhood friend, but what am I feeling?
    By tallymaboo in forum Love Advice forum
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 15-09-12, 03:29 AM
  3. Expression of feeling to a best friend
    By khan997 in forum Love Advice forum
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 12-03-12, 10:34 PM
  4. I have strong feeling for my friend but she has a boyfriend.....
    By evalistinho in forum Ask a Female Forum
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 19-12-08, 03:39 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •