Is there any hope here?

[phoenix123]

Hey I'll try to keep this short and to the point...but really could use advice. Background info: Been dating for about 7 months and we are both 23

This guy I've been seeing asked me if I wanted to spend New Years Eve (tues) with him on Monday and I said I would head his way after work the next night. So Monday night we are talking and I've been in situations where I've been stuck places and couldn't leave.

So I said to him this might sound weird, I don't like feeling stuck anywhere and can't leave, I do plan to drink but to at least give me the option to sleep in my car lol. (Yes, I even put the lol). He totally misunderstood and freaked out telling me to that I'm not forced to see him and to hang out with my friends instead. So I said "So you don't want to spend it together anymore" and he said "Nope".

That was Monday night, and now we are in Friday and still not a word from him. Last text I sent was Tues evening saying how ridiculous it was and I was trying to make life easier for him a bit cause that way he didn't feel obligated to keep me in his house....Anyways....no word, WTF???

Anyone have any idea what the hell is going on? Or why he got soo angry over something that was partly a joke (I'm not really going to sleep in my car in Dec)?

Please help

[smackie9]

Stuck? Where did he plan to stay?? You two couldn't like pull up a couch together somewhere? Get a hotel? Grab a flippin cab?

As for him wigging out, I have a feeling this is just more than a one time thing....things have been a brewin in your relationship....it sounds like either you guys have had troubles and this was the last straw, or he is too tempermental (mental being the key word here). If he has been this way before, it might be a good thing that he's gone now. Who needs that childish crap. If it was me I would dump his ass.

[phoenix123]

It would have been at his house. And I don't like feeling "trapped" or "stuck" anywhere, so that's why I brought it up. Like I said, it was kind of a joke cause it's freaking cold outside.

Thank you for answering btw Hopefully he comes to his senses and actually decides to grow up and start talking to me!

[Rowen]

Hopefully he comes to his senses and actually decides to grow up and start talking to me!

No offense, but I doubt he will. Children hold grudges, and he is a child so he will hold a grudge. Men do not, and you don't have a man.

I'd move on, OP. Someone who freaks out over you telling him that you wouldn't want to drive intoxicated and put him out by staying is not relationship material. He didn't consider how you would feel.

[UKRomantic]

The obvious, and simple answer here would have been "You can sleep on my couch, or if you want I'll sleep on the couch you stay in the bed"

He shouldn't have acted that way... It kind of sounds like he didn't REALLY want you there anyway, and this was a good way to blow you off.

[phoenix123]

The obvious, and simple answer here would have been "You can sleep on my couch, or if you want I'll sleep on the couch you stay in the bed"

He shouldn't have acted that way... It kind of sounds like he didn't REALLY want you there anyway, and this was a good way to blow you off.

I thought if that, but he was the one who asked me to come over, not the other way around.

[Wakeup]

Hopefully he comes to his senses and actually decides to grow up and start talking to me!

I hope for your sake, he never contacts you again. You seem to have a hard time seeing how this jerk keeps you around but never actually commits to you, he keeps coming in and out of your life, he last minute invites you to a NYE thing and then bails at the least little provocation.. to top it all off, he's out of your life yet again and acting like a 12 year old by not talking to you.
A man that wanted you, who actually respected you would want to be with you on NYE and he would make sure that he asked you well in advance, not the night before.

Close the door on this twat... Don't let him come back through under his terms while you wait with baited breath and hopefully, you'll rehab from him long enough to be able to not let him hoover you back in again.

[Wakeup]

Been dating for about 7 months and we are both 23

In that "7 months" just how many times have you actually been in his company? By your other post he comes back in just long enough to confuse you and make you write threads about him. Get rid of him so you don't stangnate yourself any longer from meeting someone who actually wants to put in the effort to be a good boyfriend to you.

[smackie9]

Btw maybe you should work on that "being stuck" phobia....this could possibly be an issue for other future relationships.

I know this would be a deal breaker for me. Maybe it was a deal breaker for him. Maybe he looked at as you acting immature when truly it's a problem that you have always struggled with.

[phoenix123]

Btw maybe you should work on that "being stuck" phobia....this could possibly be an issue for other future relationships.

I know this would be a deal breaker for me. Maybe it was a deal breaker for him. Maybe he looked at as you acting immature when truly it's a problem that you have always struggled with.

If it was a deal breaker for him he should have said something and given me an actual chance to explain that it was also trying to not make him feel obligated to
have me spend the night. But since Monday night (sat night now) haven't heard anything!

It's not a phobia - I just don't like being in places/situations where there's no exit option.

[phoenix123]

In that "7 months" just how many times have you actually been in his company? By your other post he comes back in just long enough to confuse you and make you write threads about him. Get rid of him so you don't stangnate yourself any longer from meeting someone who actually wants to put in the effort to be a good boyfriend to you.

This is very helpful!! Thank you

[smackie9]

It's not a phobia - I just don't like being in places/situations where there's no exit option.

agoraphobia

[phoenix123]

agoraphobia

I disagree. I'm not afraid of crowds, people, or to leave my house. Quite the opposite actually. And if instead of jumping to conclusions and ignoring me he gave me the chance to explain that it was an offer that could have benefit him as well and in part was not really serious - a bad joke I get it- but a joke nonetheless none of this would be happening.

I guess I'm just having a hard time understanding how such a simple miscommunication can cause such a reaction and that's why I posted on here. I think Wakeup said it perfectly!

[smackie9]

Ya ya I know just stir-in the shit up. Anyways it's always a no brainer to dump the person, and amazingly the problem just goes away.