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Thread: I'm confused about what to do...

  1. #1
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    I'm confused about what to do...

    My boyfriend and I have been together for a year, off and on. When we first started seeing each other, it was heaven; he'd come over, spend time with me, he enjoyed being around my family (I live at home still), and the best part, he seemed genuinely interested in me and keeping me happy. After our third month together, he started becoming distant. Not horribly so, but enough that people (not me unfortunately) began to notice. I broke up with him on our fifth month anniversery because he got to the point where seeing me became a chore for him, I guess.
    A few weeks later, maybe a month and a half, he started coming back around and acting like he used to, so I went back out with him. The same stuff happened again.
    I've dealt with his back and forth mood swings on whether he actually still wants to be with me, but I'm not getting any definate answer, which really sucks because I'm head-over-heels in love with him and I'm unsure if I should tough it out or end it for a sixth time, and hopefully the last time.
    If anyone has any advice, I would greatly appreciate it.

  2. #2
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    "Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." - Albert Einstein

  3. #3
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    ^ LOL at people who posts an obscure quote and expect the OP to get it.

    OP, many guys are like this. They will be very passionate in the beginning to get your interest and then they will withdraw a bit to regain their independence. Guys need their space. Give it to them and make him miss you. Every time a guy withdraws, don't go trying to get him back. Just wait it out and let him come back to you again.
    A strong woman takes advantage of help she can get from people around her but she doesn't rely on them for anything

    She uses logic and manages her emotions

    She offers help either because it is a business transaction or out of kindness. It is never because she hopes others will return the favour or out of fear of losing them

    She has her own mind and thinks for herself and knows that she has to be the one who bears the consequences of her decisions

  4. #4
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    So when he starts acting distant, its best to let him and wait for him to come around in his own?

    thank you both for posting, I appreciate it very much, though not necessarily being called insane by someguyintexas.

  5. #5
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    What worries me is that you're in love with this chump. Is he a multimillionaire or something?

  6. #6
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    LoL at those that don't understand the logic in that quote.

    Op: When you are on and off with someone, it's natures way of telling you that you are with the wrong person. You keep doing the same thing (going back to him) when he's given you zero indication that he can be the BOY you want him to be. Stop the insanity and get rid of him for good so that you can find a guy that actually wants to be with you. This guy is just coming back when he runs out of other options.

    You don't love him, how can you love someone that doesn't respect or value you. How can you bond enough to be 'in love?' You're addicted to him and the drama. Get off that drug by going zero contact so you can rehab from him.

    OP, many guys are like this. They will be very passionate in the beginning to get your interest and then they will withdraw a bit to regain their independence. Guys need their space. Give it to them and make him miss you. Every time a guy withdraws, don't go trying to get him back. Just wait it out and let him come back to you again.
    This is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results, in case you didn't understand that quote, Op. If he really wants you for more then an option, he'd not keep backing away from you.

    BTW: Do you expect him to spend all his free time with you? If you do, then that is unreasonable. You both should have your own hobbies and friends that you continue to enjoy. Balance is key.
    Last edited by Wakeup; 07-01-14 at 05:07 AM. Reason: BTW:
    “The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.” ~Joan Didion

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