No sex drive. Really need some advice

[lucyloo]

I'm really not sure what to do. I am currently under a great deal of stress. I have moved cities for my Masters, I am trying to find a job to help me fund this, I'm feeling extremely lonely at the moment and very stressed. This seems to have caused a complete loss of sex drive. It's driving me crazy as I am less than 3 months in to a relationship with a man I am very much in love with, I adore him and find him very attractive, but I have no desire for sex. I don't even want to masturbate. My boyfriend has been very understanding, but I know it bothers him. He is about to move cities to be with me and I feel awful that I am rejecting him all the time.

I am 30 years old and have had a healthy sex life for most of my sexually active years. I am currently not on any contraception. In my last relationship I went off sex because I didn't enjoy the things that my partner was into, but the sex with my new boyfriend (when I've been up for it) has been great. I can get into sex when it starts, but I never want to start it and don't want to force it as I know this will cause me to resent him. What I really want is to have my normal libido back.

Can anyone give me some advice?

[HeartIsAching]

Stress can be a great factor, but I'm wondering if there are any other things that might account for it, at least partially; anti-depressants, birth control pills, hypertension, etc.

What's wrong with "forcing" it? If I'm not particularly in the mood and my wife is, I tell her so... and tell her that if she wants, she can try to get me revved up. It usually works. Works both ways, BTW. It's not "force", it's love. If she wants to and I don't, I'm willing to try and accommodate her, and vice-versa.

[lucyloo]

Thanks for the reply. I am on no medication at all. I understand what you mean about "forcing" it. I would really just like my own sex drive back. Has anyone experienced this and managed to get it back?

[michelle23]

Try something herbal that increases libido. Google to see if there is any natural supplements you can take. Try exercising too when your stressed, eat healthy and drink lots of water..

hopefully you will go back to normal soon

in the meantime-do make an effort to get in the mood. We all have to do that sometimes

[juniorrox1]

Well I don't know if you've tried this or would suggest it to him but when my gf gets stressed I like to give her a full body massage, have dinner together and relax. You two could have a couple romantic nights together (Give massages or take a bath together, etc...). It might help you destress a little

[danweiss]

Stress can really be a killer. I'd recommend relaxing and trying to chill out a bit. Altering your daily routine can really make a difference to your sex drive.