she needs space

[wanttobelieve]

Hey,

I am really hurting at the moment, my fiance who I have been with for the last 2 and a half years just moved out and said she needed space. The night before this happened we did have an arguement over something really stupid, and it was really just me being a paranoid idiot and I think this confirmed things for her. She told me she was moving out on the 31st of December, but we still went out together to a club and danced, and then when the clock hit 12 we kissed for a long time and said we loved each other.

She has a lot going on in her life, first her parents were never happy with us living together before marriage (as they are muslim) so they were constantly stressing her out about this, then she isn't where she wants to be in her career at all and felt like she couldn't focus when she was at mine because I was always messing around on my games and smoking weed.

I feel like I neglected her a lot over the last few months because literally all I did was smoke weed all the time, was very anti-social and hardly ever went out and just played games. I have now completely stopped smoking weed, as it just made me paranoid and anxious and I plan to work on myself over this period by joining a gym and training hard to try and deal with what is going on.

So the move happened (and I feel it was encouraged by her father to some extent), I took her to the new place with all her stuff and then we kissed goodbye and once again she said that she loves me.

Now even though she said she needed space, we still met up every day of the week and she even stayed round at mine at the weekend.

But then on monday, she called me at about 11pm saying that she still loves me but we can't keep texting/calling or meeting up because it is just making it harder for her to sort her life out and get space and that it was just upsetting her more and more. She was crying and gave me two options, either we can break up or I can give her 2, maby even 3 months of space with no communication.

Problem is, I just can't get her out of my mind, I will attempt to make myself feel better during the day but then when I go to sleep I just dream about her every single night, and I also have nightmares after which I will wake up completely covered in sweat. So every morning I just wake up feeling worse, and need to start the healing process all over again.

I just wanted to write this down as it helps a little bit, and wanted to get other peoples opinions.

[Boisdevie]

Give her the space she wants. But don't be surprised if this is the beginning of the end. Perhaps she's pissed off with tht weed etc and wants to see if you're capable of changing. Or perhaps she thinks the 'I need space' thing is an easier way of gradually disengaging with you.

[wanttobelieve]

Very true, I can only stay hopeful but I should also be prepared to accept the end...

She did say that she needs the space so that the future relationship is a healthy and happy one. She works in law so it is extremely stressful with very long working hours, so I can see how I was a distraction.

All I know is, is that she still finds me attractive and still loves me, but I just don't know what to think anymore. She also made it clear that she would not be happy at all if I were to see other girls...

I think she was also influenced quite heavily by her father to make the move, as he is all about focusing on career.