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Thread: In need of help like right now

  1. #1
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    In need of help like right now

    NOTE: This will be a long post. If you don't want to read my story, skip to the bold.

    So there's this girl. I'm in love and such, the usual. But it's gone so far I've become insane. Here's my story from beginning to now.

    I was 13. It was the first day of high school. Guess what? there was this girl. Out of the crowd of kids outside, I noticed HER. I noticed EVERYTHING about her. This is not her actual name, but let's just call her Kay. You know, she turns out to be my official crush. We even up having all of the same classes and such. Everything goes nicely. But then... the day. September 28. I realized something. What was it? That I was in love.

    I didn't know what to do. I was 14 (birthday is the 19th), like I was thinking this wasn't love just some crush again. I've never EVER been in love before. NEVER. I was so confused. I ended up telling her straight up a month later that I like her. She was confused, she thought it was a joke since... well, I was the quiet guy in class. I told her I wasn't lying about it. She was still kind of confused, and I guess she shrugged it off, because the rest of the year she was just fine with me.

    I became her friend of course, and by the end of the year everyone made me known as the guy who liked Kay. Eventually, I grew some guts to actually ask her out. That was the biggest heart attack of my life, waiting for an answer. What did she say? She said... no unfortunately. And this was over text.

    Summer came, and school was out. I still was in love, and I decided... hey, why not text her all summer. If she doesn't like me then... maybe just friends. So, in fact, we texted the entire summer. Over the summer I was a summer art program, I even made a clay heart for her and stitched a pillow with her name on it. I told her I made it, and she actually liked them since I took pictures of them. i also made a Facebook note expressing how I'm love. She read, and liked it as well. I felt like I was starting to win this love battle.

    School started up again. This year we ended up not having any classes together. But we did have the same lunch period. After a few days, she started messaging me herself on Facebook. Eventually... she admitted that she is starting to like me. I screamed for my life. Never in my life has a girl liked me back, AND I won the harsh battle with love. In October, I met my current best friend. Let's name her Cay. (Not her actual name. And yes, it's a girl.). She convinced me to ask Kay out a second time.

    So... During our lunch period I did it. I asked her out. (Cay even recorded the whole thing). She said yes! I was so excited. this was my very first girlfriend. My first love. First girl who likes me back. Our relationship started that day. 10/19/11. Happiest day of my life. So.. the relationship went nice. until.. March 12. She broke up with me. She told me she lost feeling. Eventually I learned she lied and she wasn't happy instead.

    But you know what? In May she messages me. She says she's actually in love with me now. I was so confused and didn't believe it. Until... June 21. A day after her birthday. She called my phone, and then... she asked me out. I gladly said yes and our relationship started again. Everything went so great. Until December. it was Winter break. She broke up with me. She said so many horrible things. What were they? Well...

    She told me my love was a joke to her. That we'll never be together again. She laughed at me the entire time she said those things. I'll never forget that in my entire life. Never. But the funny thing is... The next day she apologizes. I was thinking about committing suicide after she said that. I was so hurt. She then said she wanted a break... I said sure whatever. A week later? She tells me she wants to back together. My friends hated me because of this, but I said yes. We've been together ever since, and the relationship went just fine. Until...

    October came. She started getting out of control. I realized things as well. Like she treated me like crap every time we've dated. But you know what? I still love her like always. We started arguing a lot, even in person. And we NEVER EVER argued in person until then. Then... this past December came. like March, it was a week before our anniversary. December 12. She broke up with me. She said she was tired of arguing. She was the problem though, I don't understand. I tried to get her not to but she had her mind made. So... break went by, school came back... it's January. This month. This is where I need my help.

    She tells me she's definitely not over me when I asked her. I'm still in love with her of course. but last week, she made a new friend. Let's call this friend Jay. Jay has obviously liked her. He liked her when me and Kay dated. She decided to be friends with him ever since he messaged her once. It's been almost a week they've been friends. I don't like where it's been going. She's been texting Jay almost all day during school. We're seniors, he's just a junior even. The other day she left me during lunch (we're friends now) to go sit with him, because he told her he's coming down to talk to her. I was mad, explained to her I was. Asked her if she had any feelings, she said a straight up no. A couple days afterwards... I destroyed myself.

    I sat with them during lunch. She told me he messaged her saying "I'm just sitting in the lobby... For no reason. OBVIOUSLY WAITING FOR HER. She tells me she's not going into the cafeteria or anything and will sit in the lobby. obviously to sit with him. So... I sat with them. She barely talked to me but spoke to him. Then... That day after her therapy... She flipped on me. She said she felt she just couldn't be my friend anymore. Like she's not sure if she can deal with me. I apparently did something that horrible. I don't know what I did! I was so hurt. I felt I was losing her for good. She's not telling em to this day what I did, or when I did it. She was literally fine that day. We even hugged when she left. After her therapy she went off on me.

    Obviously she's still talking to Jay. Today I was talking about my dream to her, and she told me Jay asked could he take her to our Senior prom. I got a heart attack. She told me she said she's doesn't know. I hope she tells him no. I'm not going to prom this year, she's the only girl I want to go with. I can't stand seeing her with someone else, why would I stand sitting at home while she's having fun at prom with him?

    I need serious advice. I can't get over her, I constantly catch feelings. I don't know what to do.

  2. #2
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    Very simple... Take a knife and cut her out of your life entirely. Delete her number, any pictures of her, any texts, etc etc... And completely ignore her at school. Don't even walk within ten feet of her.

    Why? Because this chick has more screws loose than a god-damn erector set. Let's look at the facts:
    You tried treating her well as a friend before dating her... She treated you like shit.
    You admitted you loved her.... She treated you like shit.
    You dated her- not once, but many times.... She treated you like shit.

    She's hot, and she's cold. And she doesn't even understand love if she can just turn it off and on. Not to mention, the fact that she could laugh at your depressed expense means she's not even a true friend, much less someone who loves you. So, my advice is to cut her out of your life, graduate high school, go your separate way, and never look back. I'm talking even don't look at her if you're FORCED to be in a room with her. You shun that chick like you're Amish, you hear?

    And then, when you do have a chance to be with another, make sure you make the rules. Don't settle for being someone's doormat like you have here. You're not for cleaning peoples' feet; you're for giving and receiving love.
    Jay is doing you a favor. Thank him for it.

  3. #3
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    So sorry you are going through such a horrible time...life's lessons can be tough eh? I remember my first real relationship, being so in love you would do anything to be with them. He ended up being very abusive and I still hung in there like an idiot. I do not regret the experience, I learned a lot, but I regret not recognizing how bad it was for me to be with him and should have left sooner.

    This is my advice to you, know how bad she is for you, stop wanting her back regardless of your feelings you still have for her. I know you think the only way to feel good again is to be with her, but it's further from the truth. Just take a good look at how she hurts you badly, and says all those awful hurtful things. Don't stand for that anymore. Letting go is the hardest part of the separation, but I know you can do it.

    The more you push her out of your thoughts, the easier it will be. Rowen is right, you need to avoid her, delete her number, don't stalk her on social media, and focus on you and your friends. Keeping busy, going out a lot with friends will help keep your mind off of her. The waves of pain and anger won't go away over night but say in about a month you will feel much better, like a weight has been lifted off of your shoulders.

    You have plenty of time to find another girl to go to prom with and if you work real hard at forgetting about her, you will find someone new, someone better. While you were having your head up your butt about this girl, there are other girls wishing to be with you. Hard to believe but it's true. Once you get back on track with your life, some one will catch your eye and that excitement you felt two years ago will happen again. I promise you, it will happen.

    Note: just think how she will feel when she finds out that you are going to the prom with a girl that is hotter than her. Hah sweet revenge.
    Last edited by smackie9; 13-01-14 at 05:55 AM.

  4. #4
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    Man biches like this never should let loose around soft loving guys like you. You gave your best but recieved things that even enemies dont get. She felt your weakness for her and used it to hurt you. Cause she knew you have no defense or attack against her. However this shit is deeply traumatizing. It will take time to learn love yourself again and see yourself withyour own eyes rather than what she told you.

    You should definetly seek counselling and all the emotional support you can get from people who care about you. Any type of proffesional help will make a diference. Bet you were better before you met her.
    Control your self criticism. Dont let anyone let tell you you are bad. Strong people dont put others down. They lift them up' Only your own idea of who you are makes any diference. See yourself as a friend do whats best for you. Realise that you was lonely and didnt saw much girls before her. But you let her in and she was the best girl in the world. In very tiny world. Once you get to know normal healthy girls you will be surprised why you took that shit before. Girls like that comes from bottom of society and dont deserve anything more than they give to others. If you were to give her same shit she gave to you then this would end so much faster. Realise that there is no much love but addiction to drama and feeling that you deserve pain.Just like a dog expects love from his woner you expected love from her but got only beating and pain. Thats the way your heart loves but there even dog dont deserve it so why should you? Socialize be around pozitive people andlove yourself more than ever. Thats where it starts - in you.

    This can be useful

    loveforum.net/threads/85672-Guide-How-to-deal-with-breakup
    Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will

  5. #5
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    Thank you all for the advice. I've been in this love thing way too long. It feels like it just consumed me.

    How can I actually avoid her? She is in my mind everyday at school, by just one look at her. We also hang around the same people.

    Three whole years of being in love. It's like a bad habit I can't stop.

  6. #6
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    Meditate, learn to isolate your thoughts and negative people around you. Made her less part of your life by bringing new people in your life. Find your passion, something that fills you up and make respect yourself when you do it. Focus energy on something thats good for future. Also find another girl. And be smarter from begining defend yourself like person you love when getting disrespected. Seek for emotional support cause sharing pain and letting it out is a huge thing in abusive realtionships like this. Sometimes its impossible to do it alone. Learn to talk about your feelings. Be heared.
    Dont expect love from her but find other things that makes you happy.
    Last edited by pcmaster; 13-01-14 at 08:50 AM.
    Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will

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    So, like, what happens when she messages me or comes to talk to me?

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    Then you dont need her anymore because theres people in your life that your confidence goes up with rather than gets destroyed. When ignored these type of girls goes crazy. It will be the best revenge. She will be like "What? This shit ignores me? WTh he is?"

    Also she might ask for favours or actualy give you a little to take even more from you. I dont know what you did for her or because of her but you finaly put yourself above everyone and do things for yourself. When you love yourself others will find it easy to love you aswell. The way you think about you is example for other people how to think about you. Its subconcious but these thoughts leads to actions and actually transforms reality.

    Like I said you need help cause right now you are weak. Its much easier for her because of natural defense mechanisms. Talking shit about you let her keep you away from her heart and also discharged negative emotions. You seemed to keep everything inside of you rather than hurting someone or making feel uncomfortable.

    Dont give her credit just because shes girl or looks good. What if a guy did this to you or you did to her? How long would it last?

    Maybe this will help

    Last edited by pcmaster; 13-01-14 at 09:32 AM.
    Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will

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    For the asking favors thing... Well I've been buying her lunch if she has nothing to eat recently. Sometimes she asks me if I have money and I buy some for her.

    If I ignore her, she WILL go crazy. And I'm sure if a guy did this, he'll be considered the biggest asshole in the world.

  10. #10
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    Dont buy her lunch anymore. Just give her suck dick. If she loves you she will do it.
    Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will

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    Also, I did not add this in.

    I am totally clueless when it comes to flirting. Like a week later after the break up, she was messaging me hearts, kiss faces, etc. A friend of mine (who is a girl, not a guy) after showing her the messages, said she was flirting with me. We were sending messages like that everyday. Why was she doing that? Is ti because she said she's not over me? or another reason?

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    That means you have to grow up and be a man. few pixels in phone dont change life. The real actions and words, in presence expressed emotions is what matters. Even if she didnt like you she would want to keep you around for attention. What matters is actions that builds and proves fate. Shes emotionaly unmature and cant be in serious relationship. Also you not man enought to change her or made her respect you.

    Do I understand right - you been on and off for 3 years yet this "relationship" is still virgitirian?
    Last edited by pcmaster; 13-01-14 at 10:31 AM.
    Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will

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    If she's okay with giving hugs to me, talking to me everyday still, and even hanging out still, it just confuses me.

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    This all can be done to a friend aswell. Theres nothing that shows real devotion or desire.

    Can you see similarities here

    Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will

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    Quote Originally Posted by DevvyJay View Post
    Also, I did not add this in.

    I am totally clueless when it comes to flirting. Like a week later after the break up, she was messaging me hearts, kiss faces, etc. A friend of mine (who is a girl, not a guy) after showing her the messages, said she was flirting with me. We were sending messages like that everyday. Why was she doing that? Is ti because she said she's not over me? or another reason?
    I can answer this and all of the questions you've got about this sub-human piece of garbage...

    She's an attention whore. When you give her the attention she wants, she loses interest. When that attention starts to fade, she starts up with her routine to suck you back into her life...

    And she doesn't give a single shit about your feelings. I'd bet she's a sociopath.

    Do as suggested, and cut her entirely out of your life. You said she'd "Go Crazy"... that's about as big a clue as any.

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