Confused

[OrangeSun]

So someone is going through a hard time so you help them out. (Emotional back up not money) So you then ask the same someone to have lunch with you they say yes. Goes well actually. Second time they say no. Third they so no so you accept ok maybe they just arent that into you. You accept and try to move forward. So goes from friend to nothing. You accept you move on. But then you notice things. You catch them looking at you when they think you arent looking. When they have to approach you for work if they need to they act all shy and clam up like they want to talk but just you know like a shy person who clams up around those they like. Here is the bad part. They already seeing someone. I'd think interested but taken and they are not sure what to do. Maybe afraid to leave the bad relationship they are in. I know the current relationship is not a good one as one is too controlling and completely abandoned when in need which is why I needed to step in to begin with. What to do? Hate to be the one to break someone up but I have feelings for this person also.

[eco-guy]

what you wrote is very abstract, so i'm not sure i can give a very specific answer.

i have always had a problem with the concept of stealing someone away just because you like them as well. put yourself in their bf/gf's shoes. how would you feel? on the other hand, it's not your fault if their relationship is not working well. you could make it worse, and cause them to break up, but you never know if you caused it, helped it along, or if you influence just helped speed up the inevitable.

that said, you feel the way you feel, and you do have the right to express it. but just coming out and saying the big i love you's is not a good way to do it. especially, if this person doesn't seem to be giving you signals and opportunities to be with them. the way that you can do it, and still be, in my book, more-or-less ethically clean (if you care about that), is to just hang out with this person, with no expectations, and subtely, but clearly, signal that you like them more as a friend. it's kind of a friendly flirting came that you keep pushing, but never really take too far. be there for them, be their friend, and if you're sure that their relationship is bad, and that they might want to be with you, then your actions will highlight what might be wrong in their relationship.

hope this helps.