just sex or did he get feelings?

[camp8989]

To sum up my problem I had been dating a guy for about a year, but we weren't committed. He didn't want to be committed because he had just gotten out of a 7 year relationship that ended badly (also his first relationship). He is a very kind person, but I'm concerned about how things have gone down. It was very up and down (I would leave because I couldn't handle the lack of commitment, but then I'd come back). It bothered me that when I asked him if he loved me he would say he "could" love me. Toward the end he said a lot of reassuring things about how happy I seemed and how my mood seemed so much more even (he felt like I was too emotional with him usually). I couldn't stop smiling at him. The next time I saw him a week late at a party and things felt off from the start. He saw a guy kiss me out of nowhere. I was very drunk at the time but remember him saying "I don't want to hook up with you if you're going to let random guys make out with you" I kept trying to talk to him, but he kept refusing and told me I was "making a scene." I later apologized and said I was confused about why he would care since we weren't exclusive. He told me he didn't care, but it pissed him off that I made a scene. When I texted him back a day later, accidently sending him a text that wasn't even for him, he texted me back to **** off. A few weeks later I get a blank text and missed call from him at one am. I call him back a few days later and he tells him he was "just drunk and wanted to ****." It felt terrible, and I texted him back the next day "the next time you're drunk and want to **** forget my number." It's been about a month now since that happened and I guess obviously we haven't talked. In fact, we aren't even in the same country right now (I won't be home for another 4 months and he won't be home for another 2 months).

Essentially I want to know: Why do guys act like they want non monogamous relationships? Why did he have to act so mean if all I am is sex to him? Did he realize he gave a shit and freaked out or is he just done?

even though he hurt me I miss him a lot, and aside from this he was always a respectful and kind person to me who took time to talk to me and spend time with me outside of having sex. Yes, we had sex a lot, but hey, we had really good sex.

[basilandthyme]

Both men and women will often dio non-monogamous relationships when they are with Mr/Ms Right Now. I promise that as soon as he finds his Ms Right, he'll be very happy to be monogamous.

I've seen this happen more times than I can count.

Also, why did you apologise for kissing another guy at the party? He didn't want monogamy, so you did nothing wrong. Instead of apologising, you should have simply reminded him that you're a free agent and can do whatever you want with whoever you want. Don't let a guy twist you up in knots so that you find yourself apologising when you're not in the wrong.

[seecrithiding]

Girl, just let it go!

He didn't want you, but he didn't want anyone else to have you either - and I'm sorry, but that just shouldn't fly.
Chalk it up as some awesome sex, learn from your mistake and don't fall so hard next time - I'm not trying to be a bitch, but it sounds like maybe you're not cut out to handle friends-with-benefits type of relationships.
Hang in there