Jaden are you in councelling yet? ( Edited to reflect you start Thursday )I ask because you don't seem to be happy unless you've found something to be unhappy about. This seems to be one of those times.
Pick your battles. You treat your bf's daughter well, that is all that you should be concentrating on. In time, when the child gets older its likely she'll want to live with the two of you if you're still a loving couple so tell your partner that you're not interested in communicating with his ex and you won't be from here on out. Take a assertivness training course so that you can learn that you don't have to sit and take shit from other people. Tell your "friend" that you don't want to talk about the ex or hear anything about her because you simply are not interested in her or anything about her. You can nicely but firmly get it out to others that they don't get to talk to you in any way but respectfully.
P.S. Councelling will also help you to come to terms with the grief related to your own PTS due to your past and your mis-carriage. I'm sorry that happened to you, Jade.
Last edited by Wakeup; 15-01-14 at 05:44 AM.
“The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.” ~Joan Didion