Asking a girl to be your gf

[maverick29]

So I've never had a gf before even tho I'm college age (looking to fix that soon, I've asked a couple girls to go out before but never got far enough to have one as a gf) and I never actually knew you had to ask a girl to be your girlfriend, I always thought it was just something that came about without words after dating for awhile and becoming real close and intimate... (I don't know why, maybe it's because I've never heard anybody actually talk about popping the question nor seen a movie where a guy asked a girl to be his gf, only for her number or to marry him...) I only found out after googling recently

Is this how you get a girl to be your gf? Like, is it the normal thing to do? Do some girls become a guy's gf without popping question or is this NEVER the case?

I'm just curious since I never knew about popping the gf question before... I'm not in relationship yet but I'm hoping to (-> check out my other thread in the Love Advice forum called "How to approach her")

[surfhb2]

I don't understand.....how were you dating girls who already had boyfriends? Asking for the commitment talk should take awhile.....you don't go out with a girl a couple times then ask her to be your gf

[maverick29]

Sorry I didn't make it clear it all, I've asked a couple girls to GO out before but both said so, so never dated therefore never got to the stage where I wanted a girl to be my gf..

[basilandthyme]

I'm 46, married and have had a number of boyfriends prior......and it always did just progress without words.

I suspect these days, it's more about agreeing to be exclusive.

[maverick29]

I'm 46, married and have had a number of boyfriends prior......and it always did just progress without words.

I suspect these days, it's more about agreeing to be exclusive.

Ah okay, so it can be without words. I only have the internet to go off here and the few articles I read said nothing of going at it w/o words, but it seems like it'd more natural not to have a formal question and to let it progress, as you said.

[basilandthyme]

Yeah. Though if a girl says to you "where do we stand?" or otherwise questions the relationship status, that you reassure her that she is a girlfriend.

Though I must reiterate my age....and that things may well have changed. I'm hearing an awful lot about the "exclusive" conversation now. Back when I was dating, exclusivity was assumed.

[maverick29]

I get you. I'll play it out when the time comes and see whether the conversation should come up or not. thanks basil

Any youngians like myself not had to actually ask a girl to be a gf, and let things progress as they came?

[pcmaster]

Actually when girl realy likes you she will asume you are her BF already. Every little thing you say or do will be a big thing and ussualy be braged about to girl friends(ussualy they do it naturaly( without realising) to boost YOUR confidence so you can give her more attention. Its a huge green light when girl is telling good things about you) and one day you realise her friends know you better than you do and they think you are her BF. It comes like a surprise sometimes.

Oposite if girl dont feel good together with you and dont find you attractive she will deny everything that you did together or even deny feelings if she had them at one point.

Basicaly if girl is into you she will find common things with you including relationship.

[maverick29]

great to hear, that makes perfect sense. definitely seems like it'd be more a flower blossoming than a butterfly popping outta a cocoon after popping the question, if that comparison makes any sense

[srman]

every time i've asked a girl out we were basically dating, me "asking her out" was a mere formality. The whole making it facebook official stuff is BS. I've never really seen the point in doing it straight away, they are just words, you start seeing each other as bf/gf regardless. Im in my 20's.

[maverick29]

gotcha, so you didn't actually have to ask that her to be your gf. good to hear. funny how internet articles out there say the opposite yet what people actually do is different.

[surfhb2]

gotcha, so you didn't actually have to ask that her to be your gf. good to hear. funny how internet articles out there say the opposite yet what people actually do is different.

Ummmm....no. Women dont necessarily assume they are your girlfriend or you thier BF. You'll figure it out once you start dating more

[maverick29]

ok so it's safe to say it goes both ways? depends on the girl?

[surfhb2]

Just ask a girl out and have fun....you'll figure it out. this isnt rocket science with a step by step manual or anything

[maverick29]

Not looking for a manual, only curious my friend, but I getcha