Needing another man's opinion, my girlfriends ex-love interest....

[irishdeployed]

I have been seeing this woman for 2 months, we immediately connected before I was deployed. We decided to be exclusive immediately prior to me being redeployed. I knew nothing about an interest she had been pursuing only days before I was in her life...At any rate, we talk everday via Skype or Facebook. I have a cousin and now a few of her friends who I am friends with on facebook, who are around her. I have recently found out, as I said we have been in the relationship just over 2 months, that she was HEAVILY pursuing this other man, to the point of dressing very provocatively(out of character for her as described by her friends and my cousin who is also a friend of hers) and reportedly being very "flirty". We addressed this the other day, and she said it was a "non-issue" "i don't have feelings for him". Others(cousin and friends) have reported the flirting has continued, the provocative dress has not, but her flirting has. When we addressed my concerns, she said that he was "going to be in my life, even if it is on the periphery at times" I am unsure as to how to take this. She says nothing is going on and she is out with him in a group setting at least once a week, yet the issue is they seem to have always watched the same shows recently. She says they don't talk, they don't facebook or have any communication outside the group setting, yet it has been said they have "new inside jokes" every week. My issue is, I am at a distance and hearing these from 3rd parties...some of whom aren't overly fond of me, but aren't so rude as to not be minimally courteous about their concerns. Please help.

[smackie9]

There are no boundraries for your relationship. What she is doing in not appropriate. As far as anyone is concerned she could care less. If she blows off this behavior as OK not to worry about, she is obvious wrong.

Like I always say, never go by what she tells you, but by her actions. She knows you have no control over what she she does, this is why LDR's can fall apart very quickly. Dump her ass.

[surfhb2]

Why would you enter into an exclusive relationship after knowing a women 2 month and right before a deployment?! I guess you like to be tortured?

Regardless, This is your gf. Don't you trust her word or do you trust gossip?

[Rowen]

Ha... Welcome to the land of long distance relationships. They never work, and they'll devour your heart like a horde of ravenous cattle eat a tub of grain.

Want some advice? Give up! Run! If she's doing this now, she obviously has no respect for you and doesn't know how to be in an exclusive relationship. Kick her to the curb because you don't need that kind of heartache. You don't need to be worrying that she might be getting chummy with the boy toy while you're working far away.

Flirting is just the same as cheating, in my book.