Will I ever get over you...?

[SingleMommy]

How do I start...


I first met Jose(my now..ex...) in June 2010..we were friends while he was dating this girl and I got to know him so well...I was even there for him when he dumped his ex girlfriend..I then got with this other guy and I stopped talking to Jose until August 2011 when I broke up with that guy...me and Jose got together in November 2011..I fell head over heels with him..I met his family and lived with them for awhile, and he met mine. I was even there for him when his grandfather died..I hugged him while he cried his heart out..and that made me even closer to him. We was never apart except for when we was working..Jose left his family to move near my family..where we are living now..and in November 2012, we had a beautiful baby girl...while I was pregnant he cheated on me alone with the ex that I helped him once get over.I stayed with him because I loved him so much..and I didn't want to lose him. I kinda got mean after that..because I never got over the hurt..and about two months ago he started talking to this other girl online..this time he left me for her about 5 days ago..I have tried talking to him..telling him we have a child together and he shouldn't choose a girl online over us..but he doesn't care. He continues talking to her and whenever I try to talk to him he ignores me..when he came by to give me our daughter's carseat I got in the car with him to talk..he told me to shut the **** up, get out, he will never be with me again..after all this..I still love him. I still want to be him but i'm realizing now he will never be with me again..how to stop the pain. How do you stop loving someone you once did everything with..he took me to Mexico to meet his family,,that no other ever girl met. We was there for each other when family members passed away..we connected on so many levels..what hurts the most is..i wasn't expecting this..I love him with all of my heart.. I begged for him back, I told him I'd change ..I told him I'll leave him alone for a couple of months and then see if we can get back together for our daughter...but he said "You'll never get it..I don't love you anymore." He just gave it up like that..why..why is he okay when I'm suffering..we are now going to be fighting for our daughter in court next month..How do I get over it when I still love him with all of my heart..when I would do anything in the whole world to be back with him....how...

[pcmaster]

Perhaps you dont miss him so much as you miss who you was back then. Time goes and people change. The two persons able to love eachother dont exist anymore. Your soul, body and heart have changed too.
Dont think you will get over him unless you find replacement. Maybe you need someone new to get attached to and expierience quality sex as you did back in the day. Everything that happened 1 second before is past. To know future look in your present conditions.

[SingleMommy]

No I do love him with all my heart..and I miss HIM..all I think about is our memories..from the first day to to day before he left me. I did change..back into the girl I first was when me and him first got together. And how can I find someone else when I dont even want to move on?

[pcmaster]

Well you bring back memories cause you often bored. Past is like other dimension. Its good to remember best but wanting it again to happen you forget about the worst there was. Do you realy want all shit back would you be able to handle it again? I think what you realy miss from past is challenge, drama, new things, living with heart, rainbow of emotions. Its addictive. Its like action movie you cant forget.
Only way how to be in present moment put yourself out there again have new challenges and feelings, excitement about life.

Your ex shows excatly what hes worth by attention he gives to you now. Thinking about persons who is not here is disrespectful for present people - for example yourself.
I personaly think persons sanity can be measured by ability to be in present, be in the moment and dont let past hold back future. Thinking too much about future or past is just insane just like very young and very old people do. Perhaps you should look where you stand at the moment and reconsider if your actions are in harmony with where and who you want to be in future. The best is yet to come.


Just in case read breakup guide in Love Community Library section. Some usefull ideas are waiting for you there

[4 ratties]

He's a cheater.. Yes your daughter deserves a dad but she doesn't need to grow up with a dad that's cheating on her mom and her moms always upset and mad. He's made his decision. He sounds clear and u could never trust him again.

[Wakeup]

"You'll never get it..I don't love you anymore."

... and, this is why you should always try your very best by going on birth control and using condoms until you are married so that you don't have children with men that don't love you. You both jumped out of one relationship and into another while you dallied emotionally with one another until you thought you could make a relationship with one another instead of giving yourselves time to get over one, making sure you didn't want them back and that all ex's were safely out of the picture and would not be recycled.

You can't make someone love you. He's told you he doesn't want you. As sad as that is, you can do nothing but accept it and then make sure that he is paying the child support that he is obligated to do in order to facilitate the well-being of the human he shared in creating.

In future; don't commit to such a life altering decision of having children with someone who really has not committed to you in either marriage or emotions. He cheated on you. He doesn't love you. Accept that and do the mental work you need to do to get to the stage of indifference to him.

Staying away from him does not mean that your daughter doesnt get a dad. It just means that she doesn't have to witness her mother being a door mat to a man that is a cheater. Surely you don't want her to think that overlooking something like that, to stay with a man that doesn't want her is acceptable for her. You want better then that for your little girl, right? I'll assume the answer to that is yes.. so, teach her about birth control, real love (through example), about personal and relationship boundaries that are learned behaviour so that she doesn't cross them or let anyone else cross them, teach her about valuing yourself enough to kick assclowns to the curb and strength to get over people that don't value her. Be a Good example to her. Guide her and do it often so that she doesn't forget.