Mixed messages.. is he interested or should I drop him?

[char12]

So I've been seeing this guy. We've been on 3 dates over 3 weeks and he texts me everyday asking how my day's been and has started ringing me. When I'm with him we have a laugh and I really like him. He always initiates conversation/dates etc and it's nice to be chased a bit.

However it's like there's a completely different side to him. We've been on 3 dates and he's been late to every one (by 20 mins) but called to let me know. Each date he's tried to get physical and I've stopped it. I've straight up asked him whether he's after one thing and he said he wouldn't put the effort into taking me out if he was, followed by asking when we would have sex because "it'd be a travesty not to". I've told him I don't have sex until I'm in a relationship and am ready and he acts like he understand but his actions suggest otherwise. He also said he wanted to pick me and a friend up from a night out last week and bailed last minute because he was tired. He's booked a day of work to come and see me over an hour away next week. He said he wants to take me out to dinner and suggested he stayed the night. I wasn't 100% sure but agreed, knowing I wouldn't be having sex with him and it was only sleeping in the same bed.

Now I've thought it over, I think I've been blinded by considering his constant chasing and texting me and haven't realized how little effort he's put into actually seeing me and that he's only after one thing. I see him once a week for a couple of hours.. is that considered normal with dating? Because I don't think it's enough time for him to be sleeping in my bed. I don't feel comfortable with him staying over so how should i tell him? I feel like I'm being a let down. I just really want him to step up..I don't know if this is all I should expect from only seeing somebody or whether he's acting like an idiot? I've been acting quite interested in him though, it's just last night that I started thinking about things he's done wrong, so I'll feel a bit weird bringing them up when they didn't seem to bother me at the time but I don't want to just suddenly go cold on him either. Sorry for my jumbled up writing but any advice would be appreciated.

[Kromat83]

One thing, I am guilty of it texting everyday.
If your just dating, I don't see the need for him to text you so much, and for myself I wont chat with this new girl until Monday to arrange plans as she'll be out of town.
I think he should keep some things to himself and be punctual to show that your worth his time.
It's hard to tell sometimes where it's heading after 3 dates and might need a few more to convince yourself.
Sex will come naturally if both like each other enough, either he hasn't had it in a while or he's just addicted.
If he's had multiple long-term relationships, I don't know, but from your concern, i doubt it.

[TheEvilJester]

It is a little hard to say. Only 3 dates don't necessarily tell the whole story yet. Though, I will say that I would personally at least consider it somewhat of a small red flag that he brings up sex so early. You made it very clear you weren't interested yet, and yet he still feels the need to actually come out and ask? Within 3 dates? Please tell me he didn't actually say "it'd be a travesty not to." That sounds like such a line, and not even a good one at that.

Anyway, again, we can't really say for sure without more evidence. Some people just have their little quirks or social issues. For example, he could just be one of those people who somehow has trouble with never being on time. He may not mean any offense by it, it could just be one of those things. Personally, I am always crazy punctual, so I never quite could understand how that could be so hard for some people. But, some people just have a hard time being on time, no matter how much they may actually want to be punctual.

Either way, good luck. I hope you decide what you want, and decide whether that is this guy, or you need to find it in somebody else.

[AnErin]

Might want to hold off sex for a bit cause as soon as you give it to him, he is likely to vanish and then a week later you will get some lame excuse in a text and that will be the end of it.
If he is taking you out and buying you free meals, take advantage of it while it lasts.

[seecrithiding]

Keep seeing him and spending time together, being late really isn't a big deal. Like one of the posts above me said - some people (like my Aunt) are just like that! However, don't let him pressure you into anything that you're not ready for. The fact that he's pressured you into an overnight stay that you aren't sure you're ready for is kind of a red-flag. However, I highly doubt he's gonna look at a sleep-over with you as just "sleeping in the same bed", especially with how many times he has mentioned sex, so be sure you're clear on that.
Good luck - and if he doesn't respect you and your wishes it just isn't worth it.

[TheEvilJester]

That is a good point thatI had meant to mention. The "sleep-over" seems a bit iffy if you ask me as well. I would be careful. Guys tend to equate a "sleep-over" with meaning they are "in," so to speak. Ugh! Sometimes I am so ashamed to have to call myself part of the male species. But, to some guys, it is almost like a code. Sleeping in the same bed (in their eyes, mind you) means more than just sleeping in the same bed. So, just please be careful and remember to stick to your guns. Don't allow yourself to be pressured into anything you are not yet ready to do. Good luck.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Don't have a sleep over if you aren't ready to have sex.

Sounds like this guy only wants to bang you.