relatationship problems,.is it she or me??

[oneloadedbanana]

well,..my this is my first time here,..infact its my first time seeking any type of relationship advise,..guess ive always givin up to easy on people before.
so here it goes..
Im 30 years old, my gf is 25. We've been dating for 5yrs now and quite honestly the first few years of our relationship was,...hmm...far from one because it just wasnt very serious to me. We fight all the time,..ususally because im not happy with something she does. I need to know if im being an ******* or is it simply that she doesnt have and will never have some of the qualities that im looking for. First let me say that she is a very attractive woman and also very smart. However somethings she does absolutly drives me up the wall. I'll start with her appearance first,...If shes getting ready to go out,..well she has to look like a superstar,..even when were going no where special,..i mean like she'll need like 2hrs. And that would be completely cool if i felt she was doin it for me,.but once we go out its like she always wants to see if others are checkin her out. I just wish she'd focus more attention towards me and not whats goin on around us. Ive brought this up and she says that is not true,...she is so self concious its not funny,..she will acually cry sometimes about such superficial things,.ie. we went on vacation and she gets these brown spots on her face sometimes,..kinda patchy like,..but i dont think it looks bad at all,..well she'll cry about it. I feel that Im reassureing her that shes beautiful all the time,..it just seems like she needs verification from others. I could go on for ever about this but I wont and hopefully i drew a good enough picture.
Secondly, like I said,..shes smart, very smart,..but book smart and not "real world smart". Its like she has no idea how the real world works. Ive lived alone for 5yrs and she still lives with her parents. I feel overwheled with the sense of having to watch out for her in everything she does,..and example. On vaction again,..she went to buy a deck of cards in mexico, she paid with a $50USD and got back 20peso,...which is 2.00USD so she paid $48USD for a deck of cards!!!! no sweat right,..simple mistake anyone could make I thought,..so i went back with her so she could get her money back,..when we got there she had absolutely no backbone!! she just let the cashier flat out deny it and was being way to polite for the situation at hand.
My point being she just lets people walk all over her and it drives me crazy,..it happens all the time with all kinds of situations like where she works. I know shes underpaid, she wont negotiate a wage and just takes what they give her.....sigh...I could go on and on. Anyways Ive gone on enough for today so thx for reading and thx to those who post.

[ALovelyLady86]

Let me ask you this..
Why are you with her?

It cant be love, because you dont like anything about her from what I see...
It cant be sex cause no matter how much sex youre getting, if its as bad as the above you wouldnt stay...

Why are you with her?

[oneloadedbanana]

cause she smart,beatiful,thoughtful,considerate,family oriented, how can someone so smart be so blind sometimes? and did i mention her poor spending habits? $400 fake Chanel purse?? is that normal?? IM NOT RICH. Im a hard worker.

[shh!]

It sounds to me as though - although your girlfriend might be a lovely person - you simply don't have any respect for her, which granted, would be hard to manufacture if she is indeed, such a pushover as you describe. The fact that you can't respect her doesn't make you bad, it just doesn't sound like you are a match. I think you should consider allowing her the opportunity to find someone who CAN respect her, and allow yourself the opportunity to find someone worthy of your respect.

[shh!]

"$400 fake Chanel purse??"

You forgot to mention she is frivolous.

[ALovelyLady86]

OLB I think you you need reevaluate what you really want and need. If you arent happen then this obviously isnt what you need right now. There are lots of women out there who are intelligent, beautiful, and even know when to stop spending money!

You need to wait for the right person, cause shes not going to change and if these things get on your nerves this bad then think of what else you might find about her that you dont like
Sorry but this seems like a lost cause to me...