He's ignoring me after we agreed to be friends

**LoLo** · 24-01-14, 02:24 PM

We met through work and started talking about a month or two ago. We first started talking through Facebook messages at first and flirting at work, and after a couple weeks I started giving him rides home from work. When I'd drop him off we would just sit and talk and joke around with each other for a whole before I left. He kept saying I was different from other girls he had been with (but I didn't let that get to my head). Eventually we started hanging out at his place, watching movies or playing video games, nothing special. However, we never talked on the phone.
He had told me he had never really been in a real relationship before, so he didn't know how to be in one, but he wanted to try with me. I told him no at first because I was uncertain. My last relationship had been long and hurtful, and I wasn't sure if I wanted anything serious. Plus, he had told me that he was prone to sleeping with girls early into their relationship, and we both agreed we should maybe take it slow and just have fun.
About 3 weeks ago I told him I would be his girlfriend if he still wanted me to be. However, this involved seeing him a couple times during the week outside of work, and Facebook messaging. Whenever we first started messaging each other, we would continue a conversation throughout the day, but ever since we entered this kind of weird limbo relationship we started, his messages became less frequent and sometimes he would just ignore them. So some days I wouldn't even send him anything, and just give him space. It knew he wasn't used to relationships, and I didn't want to overwhelming him.
Then this last weekend, a group from our work all went out to see a movie, and as we were watching previews and laughing and having a good time, he smiled and asked me if it had any plans for the next day. So we agreed to see each other the next day. I came over and we started watching a movie and were just laying down on the couch, and things started getting hot and heavy, and we ended up sleeping together.
I sent him a message the next morning and he just ignored it. It really hurt. I didn't hear back from him that day.
The next day we worked together, and I acted like nothing was wrong. I laughed and talked to people and even to him. As we were getting ready to leave, he mentioned he was supposed to help his friend and he was maybe going to get a ride with him. But his friend had already left, so I ended up taking him home. Whenever we got to his place, we talked lightly, but I could tell he was pushing me away. So I looked at him and told him I didn't want to do this with him anymore.
Honestly, there was a big part of me that was annoyed by him. He could be lazy and judgemental, and I wasn't entirely sure I wanted to be with someone like that. But I decided I wanted to have fun and see where things would go. Stupid me. Any ways, he said he was kind of thinking the same thing. He said I was really cute and sweet and he normally goes after girls who are a not like that. I told him that was fine, he wasn't really the kind of guy that I imagined myself with either. He said that hurt. I also brought up the message I had sent him the day before. He said he felt bad about ignoring it. I told him I didn't expect him to talk to me all day every day, but I sent that message because of what had happened the night before. I said I don't want someone stuck up my butt, and I know he doesn't want that either. He said he was kind of a loner, and likes his space. I told him I understood that. I like my space too. He also mentioned something about I could be the one to help fix him, but probably not the one he would be with for a long time. I didn't say it to him, but I don't want to be someone who changes a person. Thats his baggage, and I don't want to get caught up in that.
Any ways, we decided to split and just stay friends. We didn't want things to be weird. He hugged me, and said he was going to want to kiss me again. But I said it would get us both mixed up. He said he really did have a good time with me, and I think I believe that.
So I left, and two days later we worked together again. He was acting really weird, like he would stand far away from me, wouldn't smile at me, etc. I sent him a message asking if everything was okay, but he ignored it until after we got off work several hours later. He messaged me back saying nothing was ever "ok". I sent another message asking what was wrong, and he said he was the type of person he didn't want to be. No matter how hard he tried, he always kept doing the same things over and over again. I told him if he didn't want to be that person, then to just not be him. He never responded to that. That conversation happened yesterday and I haven't talked to him today. We work together again tomorrow.
I guess I'm just wondering what is going on? We agreed to be friends, and I know he tries to avoid things that require a lot of effort ( >:/), but is this a subtle way of saying he doesn't want anything to do with me anymore? I feel like I could have been okay with just breaking up, we were only together for 2 weeks. Like I said before, there were several things that already annoyed me about him. But I feel awful now being just another girl in his cycle. He couldn't have just left it at "we had fun, but it just didn't work out".

**smackie9** · 24-01-14, 02:30 PM

I changed my post. I have a feeling he has a LDR going on or is seeing someone else and doesn't want to mess that up possibly. He is pushing you away because of the temptation. Ya he likes you but whatever is going on with him, it has to end before he would ever pursue anything with you. That's my take but you know him, I don't.