I am in in a square knot, forget straitjackets

[LCMS0516]

I have a situation that is bugging me, and know ahead of time, someone will rake me over the coals about it. But I still need input. So I am prepared. First I need to layout the history.

Me(U.S.): Nov.'02 to Jan.'07, July' 07-Present

Her: 2002-2004(fiance killed in Fallujah, Iraq), 2005, married 2006(separated 2009, divorce still pending), 09-Present

The woman that is the reason for my posting this, I met online(have not met in person) in 2003, via an online support group that my (ex)fiance happened to be a member of. (I had joined the group to enable me to get a better understanding, and appreciation of what my (ex)fiance was subjected to, as child)

The woman n' I even helped each other out with some tough situations despite the distance 2,000+ miles, and one country boarder.

When her fiance(the one killed in Iraq) broke up with her, prior to his second tour of duty in Iraq, she contacted me in tears. I insisted she give me his Yahoo Messenger contact info. She eventually gave in, and gave it to me, even though she feared what would happen. I got a hold of him. Of his not knowing who I was, he responded with vulgarity and contempt. I eventually got him to calm down, and tell me his reason for the breakup. It was very sad. He told me had a premonition, that he wouldn't make through the second tour of duty. I told him, that was not stupid, or something to be ashamed of. Then he n' I decided, that he would tell her, why he broke up with her. He told her. But sadly, his premonition came true. I was so deeply affected by what happened to him, that I had a special remembrance bracelet made with all his military info on it.

When I was having problems with my (ex)fiance, I asked the woman if she could talk to my (ex)fiance. Since they knew each other. Thankfully, She was not successful. I say it that way because I am glad I am not with my ex any longer.

There has always been a mysterious connection between her n' I. That neither my fiance, or her fiance have liked. Her fiance n' my fiance, have tried to get us to break it off. But every time we try, it hasn't lasted long.

She nearly died in 2012 as a result of a toxic pregnancy. When her fiance told me via Yahoo Messenger, I was immediately scared that she might die. Because she fell in to a coma for six weeks. It was then, that I realized how I really felt about her. That I love her, while I love my fiance at the same time. I thought the feelings would go away with time, but they never have. She and her fiance separated three months ago due to constant arguing, but are spending the weekend together, in a couple weeks.

But my reason for mentioning all this is, when we chat on Yahoo Messenger and I happen to go somewhere without telling her, she gets' upset. Not like a conniption fit. But upset. She even told me the other day(of course it was just emotion talking, instead fact), that her fiance was probably lying about having several meetings after school.

Please give me your feedback, on why she would behave this way when I am suddenly gone, and go so far as to think unjustifiably, that her fiance was lying about the meetings he had?

[basilandthyme]

LCMS, if there's one thing I've learned, it's to not try and analyse why another person does what they do. Not only will it do your head in, you'll never truly understand anyway.

My best advice is to simply decide if her behaviour is acceptable to you....and based on that, decide whether or not you want them in your life and in what capacity. Though for what it's worth, this girl sounds a bit too screwy.

[LCMS0516]

LCMS, if there's one thing I've learned, it's to not try and analyse why another person does what they do. Not only will it do your head in, you'll never truly understand anyway.

My best advice is to simply decide if her behaviour is acceptable to you....and based on that, decide whether or not you want them in your life and in what capacity. Though for what it's worth, this girl sounds a bit too screwy.

Which one? My SO, or the close friend in Canada?

[basilandthyme]

Your SO? You didn't mention a SO...just an ex-fiance.

[LCMS0516]

Your SO? You didn't mention a SO...just an ex-fiance.

In the dates I mentioned in my OP, my (ex)fiance was Nov.'02-Jan.'07. My SO is July'07-Present.

The close friend in Canada, I have known since 2003.