How to build a more interesting life

[LDD]

Hi guys,

I noticed only recently that I'm a frog-in-the-well, meaning that when in a group of friends etc, I always have nothing to contribute to the discussion cos' I can't relate to any of the topics discussed, unless it's some general stuff like girls and sex.

Is there any way to solve this? Should I start reading up on pop culture etc.? Now that I think about it, this is also affecting my conversation skills a lot, cos' I can't get past the small talk thing. The pattern is always like: Get very friendly with a new person, then as time goes by, our relationship (guys and girls) fade away cos' I'm unable to build any continued rapport.

When people talk about XXX, I dunno what they're talking about.
When they talk about YYY or ZZZ, I am clueless. This leads to people thinking that I'm just dumb.

I want to change all this starting NOW but need some advice on where to head specifically.

I've seen many guys who seem very wise, can relate to any discussion, knows about all things in the world, super eloquent (cos they know what they're talking about).

Another thing: How do I make my life more interesting? By taking up new activities etc.? Cos' currently, it's mostly going work and coming home with occasional dinner with friends.

I really wanna change my life now.

Pls advise! Tks!
LDD

[LittleFox]

LDD, I think you are looking too much on the surface now. First of all, the reason why you cannot get past the small talk is because you are closed. You are thinking too much about what to say and how you will sound, instead of actually participating in the conversation and thinking about the subject in matter.
You cannot possibly think about what to say or how you will look and at the same time contribute to the conversation!

You don't have to be liked by everyone, better start looking at the people with who you ACTUALLY feel some connection! With whom you do not have to try so hard to keep in touch or have something to talk about.

To make your life interesting is to try something new! Sounds cliche but it is true! By sitting and thinking you will never feel entertained! First, of course, you need to think what actually excites you and what would be interesting to do! Get your own opinion on different subjects that interest you! Being flexible in conversation is not about knowing everything but about the way you express yourself!
Now you probably are seen as a little bit awkward and trying to be someone else. Because it is true. Stop thinking so much and do stuff that makes you feel free and excited. Rapport and flexibility can only come naturally.

[EmilyPeterson]

whoa, I was just like that few years ago, but i was able to discover myself.

Ask yourself if you really like their company. It could be just a mismatch of interests.

In my case, It was not. I just didn't want to get out of my comfort zone.

[kellyrrock]

Go exploring. Go for a walk with no particular destination in mind and get lost on purpose. Walk as far as you can and then walk back in the dark. And take a friend with you. Now there’s an adventure!