She just wont admit it!

[jesuslizard]

OK. Sorry for the long post but here is the situation.
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I have been with my girlfriend for 6 months and we are now living together. So far it's been my best relationship. We communicate well, we have an amazing intimate connection, we laugh, we have a lot in common... it feels like she could be ''the one''. She feels the same way about me.
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The issue however is that something happened in the beginning of our relationship that I just can't seem to let go of.
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As we all know, in the beginning of a relationship, there may be some other people around, people we are still seeing that we haven't quite cut out of our lives yet while we are waiting to see if our new thing is going to go anywhere. It was the case for me, anyway. I was seeing my current girlfriend and another girl. This night in particular, my girlfriend was texting me all night, practically begging me to come over. Her mom was there, she wanted me to meet her, they were drinking wine and having a good time. On my side, I was having a beer with a friend of mine and I simply said that we would see each other tomorrow because I was not done with my friend. She asked and asked and asked, but I refused and that was that.
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At the end of MY night, I started talking to the other girl, and she was going to come over, and we were going to have sex. This was very clear. Before she came over, she called me and asked me about new girl (my current girlfriend) who was posting all over my facebook. She asked me if something was going on and I said yes. She got mad, called me all sorts of names, told me that one day new girl would find out and I would end up alone, and then she hung up on me.
*
After that I kind of panicked. I got in my truck and drove to my current girlfriend's house. To my surprise, I get there, walk in, and there's another guys shoes at the door. The lights are out, they are in the bedroom. I guess we can call this instant Karma. I turn around, leave without making a noise, try to call her, no answer, so I leave her a voicemail saying roughly ''I just went to your house, saw the shoes, you're with another guy. Before you feel too bad, keep in mind I was only coming over because I got caught seeing you while trying to sleep with another girl. That being said, I think it's safe to assume me and you are over, so have a nice evening see you around.''
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Within 10 minutes she had called me and she was on her way to my house. She was crying, she was begging, and (the important part of this post): She was telling me nothing had happened and nothing was going to happen with that guy. She said he had just gotten there, that they hadn't even kissed, and that she promises nothing was going to happen, even if he was someone she had been seeing. The next day she showed me a text from the night before that she had sent him telling him that he can come over but that nothing can happen. She also sent me a message she sent him the next day telling him it was a mistake for her to tell him to come over last night, explaining why she left so abruptly, because she started seeing someone and had started to have growing feelings for him (me), and that she was sorry again that she told him he could come over.
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After calming down a little bit, the next day I went to her and told her the following: ''I don't believe that*nothing happened or that nothing was going to happen. I mean, come on. In the dark, in your bedroom.... with someone*you have been seeing... after you had been drinking wine and begging me to come over...*PLEASE. We're all adults here, so here is what we can do. *I was seeing someone else as well, so just come clean. Tell me the truth, and then we commit to each other and move on.''
*
To me, I offered her an easy way out. An opportunity to come clean, to start fresh, and to leave it behind. The issue is SHE NEVER ADMITTED TO IT. I'm not saying it wouldn't have been hurtful anyway to walk in on her and someone else, but she NEVER came clean. Even when I gave her the chance to do it with absolutely no consequences. I even told her it would be easier for her to just come clean, and she got annoyed and said she would not admit to doing something that she didn't do just to make me feel better. Since then, we have talked about it a few times. I keep telling her I simply don't believe here, that it doesn't make sense to me to have someone in her bedroom at night light that platonically. I mean come on. IT JUST DOESN'T MAKE SENSE! And yet, every time we talk about it, she just gets more and more annoyed and angrier at the whole thing, telling me to let it go, that I'm being ridiculous, and that again, she will not admit to doing something she didn't do.
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Apart from this incident, I don't think I have anything to say against her loyalty and trustworthiness. There is nothing questionable*going on, other than the stories I make up in my head.*She doesn't hang around with guys, spends most of her free time with me, lives with me, takes care of my house, is loving in general, talks about our future, so on and so forth. She was even ''too'' clingy for a while, but things have balanced themselves out.
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If I want to stay with this girl, I NEED to let this go, but it's been haunting me. I try really hard to let it go, but the feeling that she lied to me and continues to lie to me is an obsession that is eating away at me. Here is what I truly think: I have no qualms with her seeing someone else at that point in our relationship. Hell, I was doing the same thing. If she DID lie to me, it is because in that instant of panic, she was terrified of losing me, and did anything she could to keep me. If she lied, she knows she's in too deep now and can't admit to it after 6 months, especially considering the fact that the relationship is growing, and that this situation seems like something that SHOULD be irrelevant by now. But it's eating away at me. It keeps me from trusting her. It makes me insecure. I never thought she could replace me like that and then lie about it (if she's lying).
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I guess I'm just looking for advice. I will never know what happened for sure on that night and it's driving me crazy.
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[Wakeup]

OK. Sorry for the long post but here is the situation.
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I have been with my girlfriend for 6 months and we are now living together.

That's was a very silly thing to do at 6 months. You don't even know her ffs.

So far it's been my best relationship.

Yea, it's called the "honeymoon stage" That period soon ends, particularily if you are seeing each other day in and day out.

We communicate well, we have an amazing intimate connection, we laugh, we have a lot in common... it feels like she could be ''the one''. She feels the same way about me.

Everyone feels like they could "be the one" at six months.
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The issue however is that something happened in the beginning of our relationship that I just can't seem to let go of

Then why are you here? Just break up with her and be done with it. You don't know each other at all but what you do know, you can't let go of so don't bother with one another anymore.

Next time don't move in with a stranger and if that stranger tells you something at the beginning of your relationship that you can't let go of then don't move in with them and make things even more difficult then they have to be. Being impulsive has done you or her any favours.
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You sound uber immature. Stay away from "serious" relationships and spare yourself and the woman you meet your hassle.

[jesuslizard]

Ok... Anyone with anything constructive?

[Rowen]

Ok... Anyone with anything constructive?

Sorry, we're all out of butterflies and rainbows. Come back tomorrow; you might have better luck.

[jesuslizard]

Wow. Just wow.

[Wakeup]

What do you think you can do to get over this obsession you have of not letting this go and getting on with your life with her? You tell us what you've done to help yourself to become indifferent to what is now behind the both of you.

[Starnique]

Ok... Anyone with anything constructive?

That was constructive. Just because you didn't like hearing the truth doesn't mean it wasn't constructive. That alone speaks volumes about your maturity level.

Anyway, I understand your ego is bruised because she went ahead and got hers and you "did the right thing" so to speak or was forced to... but the past is the past. Both of you were full of it in the beginning of the relationship. It was stupid to move in with her knowing you wasn't over this. Its only one of two things you can do because you're not going to get the answer you're looking for from her. Break up or let it go.

6 months isn't long enough to be dating and then moving in. I did that with my Ex and everything happened so fast. You need to think about that.

[basilandthyme]

To my surprise, I get there, walk in, and there's another guys shoes at the door. The lights are out, they are in the bedroom. I guess we can call this instant Karma. I turn around, leave without making a noise, try to call her, no answer, so I leave her a voicemail saying roughly ''I just went to your house, saw the shoes, you're with another guy. Before you feel too bad, keep in mind I was only coming over because I got caught seeing you while trying to sleep with another girl. That being said, I think it's safe to assume me and you are over, so have a nice evening see you around.''

This part of it all has me confused....what were you thinking when you broke up with her? And why did you take her back if you didn't want a relationship with her?

[CrasherRob8]

I think I know why the OP can't let it go.

He called his other girlfriend at the time to come over and have sex, fully knowing he was in a relationship with the other girl. When he gets rejected, he goes back home and finds circumstantial evidence that his new girlfriend is doing the same thing he had wanted to do but could not.

to jesuslizard, if you had managed to have sex with the other girlfriend, do you think your current one should have gotten mad and broke up with you? I'm guessing not since you thought it would be ok since you fully intended to in the first place.

So in reality, you're a hypocrite. You were going to do the very same thing that your new girlfriend did yet you seem to think it would have been ok for you to do it yet if she did then you can't take it. She told you nothing happened. You either believe her and leave it in the past or you don't believe her and break up. In fact, you should break up with her for her sake, she doesn't deserve a hypocrite for a boyfriend.

[Valixy]

What if that night was just a big lesson for both of you? What if you were not supposed to sleep with the other girl and neither was your girlfriend supposed to sleep with the other guy and the circumstances simply prevented you both from making a mistake?

And then only 10 minutes after you left her the voice message she called you and came straight to your house? That is a very quick reaction for someone who could have been sleeping with another guy, don't you think? Besides she had texted him that he could visit her but nothing could happen and the next day she sent him another text explaining him why she left in a hurry, that it had been a mistake to invite him over and that she started having feelings for you.

I think that the evidence is in favour that nothing happened indeed and you should be glad and appreciate that you both had this 'second chance' for this relationship. Not many couples have this opportunity.

[smackie9]

I say the past is in the past so now that you both have made the commitment to live together (obviously to each other as well) it's time to move forward and f uckin forget about it.