ok, first time doing this.... will try to make it short and simple for opinions
history - was with my second wife for almost 3 years, she has a daughter and we had a son together, married and together for 5 months, (still actually married) she decided she wanted to separate and needs space, I moved out, heartbroken, went into downward spiral, drinking heavily for a few months... we have both said and done some very mean things to each other in the last year. I have always wanted her and our family back and tried and tried, and gave up and i thought i moved on but i havent....we have been separated for a year,
I have now been in a relationship with my girlfriend for 8 months, moved in really quickly with her after only 2 months, I know a big mistake. she has 3 kids, and i get visitation with my 2 year old and have my other son full time... lots of kids, she loves me deeply and i love her, she treats me very well and lots of great times together. we do fight and i have thought about ending the relationship on many occasions because of this and because im not sure if i could be fully happy with her or not.
so i was planning to move out, told my wife about it, and all of a sudden she said she has always loved me, still in love with me, and would like to reconcile our marriage, we have hugged, kissed, talking more, and we both agree we would put in the effort we should have before. i agree that it could possibly work and am leaning more towards doing this. but afraid it wont and afraid of being heartbroken again
im very confused though on what i really should do, if i knowingly blow the second chance of being with her, (like i did with my first wife when i could have, but didnt really want to) and healing our marriage and family then i have to live with that the rest of my life and still see her at exchanges of our son with messed up feelings. if i leave it will devastate my girlfriend and her children, and i may regret it if my wife and i dont work out.... i would like some input please. stay with my girlfriend and continue the divorce process? or leave and date my wife again to reconcile our marriage and family after some time? she has a male roommate that she did have a sexual relationship with but doesnt now, and i do believe that. i told her he would obviously have to move out and not be friends anymore there are many more details but it would just confuse things more....