Alright, this is not a cry for help, more of a helping hand for me and some reassurance that would be greatly appreciated. In the past couple months I have reconnected with a girl that I had a brief relationship with a little more than a year ago around Aug.-Dec 2012. I was inexperienced with dating and I was so enveloped in this new person that was in every aspect beautiful to me and made me feel like a million bucks when I was around her. I didn’t know how to control myself with always wanting to be around her which was infatuation more than knowing her and loving her. Long story short, I pushed her away by smothering her, I didn’t realize how much she liked me until weeks after we stopped talking. A year later of not forgiving myself, I got the courage to try and message her again. And she messaged ME BACK! All things good I am now totally different from before, she is too but the infatuation is gone, and I feel like I could really get serious with her. (Sex is not in this equation what so ever, she wouldn’t neither would I, for moral reasons) We have recently starting talking a lot more over the past couple months, she is trying harder as well to keep in touch by starting conversations, which she didn’t really do much before, and I am so grateful for that. Actually seeing her flaws as well is another step I have took towards not being in the infatuation stage, but they make her, her and I REALLY like her. She is not the type that always texts and would much rather go out and do things, again I prefer that over mindlessly texting too. Here is where I am kind of at a fork in the road though. She is a very shy person, I was too when I met her but since then I have really come out and am very social now. I get mixed signals from her though; I took her out on a “date” (We are still getting used to each other so no rush) to a coffee shop the other night. We talked and had some laughs it was all good and fun. I kept to myself and didn’t try to do any little subtle touches or things like that and I felt like she enjoyed herself. But coming off of the “clingy me” the last time we were together I don’t want to intrude on her and pressure her because of her self-esteem/shyness. We were talking about before I messed things up and I said something about “the good old days” and then she replied with “who said they weren’t good anymore?” so I am not questioning if she likes me or not, I just want to ask her out and move on with her. We have been talking for three months now, I even surprised her at her house after she had a surgery a month ago, when later that day she told me to bring her candy and I jokingly said I was too busy. So again she is shy and doesn’t send out clear messages, I can’t tell if she wants to go further or wants to take things slowly. Either way I know one thing, and that is to make things work again, I am clear on that. Phew, thanks for reading that!
Summary: Getting close to a once again friend that is a shy girl, we both want a relationship, but I don’t know when is enough time to ask for us to get more serious without intruding due to mixed messages about her feelings towards me. Mixed signals being not showing much affection or a lot of the times when we pass each other in the hall not make eye contact like ever, I mean like hitting shoulders almost. Idk
Signs that she likes me that I pick up:
• When I say something funny in a story or joke, she giggles and repeats it like every time.
• Smiles when she sees me in the halls
• Umm, starting talking again and went on a date with me haha and the quote from above
• Her mom loves me. (Not sure if that counts but it does for something!)
• Has told me I’m attractive, (last year), this year she is more shy for whatever reason
• And you can tell when someone likes you, come on now haha
I know this whole thing sound analytical and cold but I would rather get all the explaining done simple and without a question un-answered. The list is kind of a barbaric but again, trying to make this clear. Should I just ask her if she wants to get closer again or should I just play it slow for a little bit more? Thanks again for reading this essay I wrote haha would love for feedback and answers!