Periodic Relationship Uncertainty

[rocketscience]

Hello everyone,

I'm brand new to the forum and joined up because I don't have anyone I can talk with about this kind of stuff, so any insights are greatly appreciated. I'm not sure if what I'm going through is "normal" or not, but I'll go over the basics of the situation. This will probably be a bit long, so sorry for that and thanks for those that take the time to read.

I'm a 24yr old guy and I've been with my 21yr old girlfriend for 3 years now and am very much in love with her. Most of the time things are great and I'm happy and content, however, every once in a while I feel unsure about the relationship. When this happens, I worry that this relationship is not what I really want and wonder/worry if I would be better off ending it. Every time I've felt like this, it's gone away after a while (not sure exactly how long, but no longer than a week or two) and I've been fine again. I just started feeling like this again earlier today and I want to try to work through what I should do, if anything.

I think a big part of why I end up feeling like this is due to the physical part of the relationship. I am a very physical and sexual person and she is not so much. She likes to cuddle and the like very often, but isn't as big into sex and other things. In regards to non-sex related things, I am fairly constantly doing things that she enjoys like giving her massages or just lightly running my fingers over her body. However, she doesn't really reciprocate much even after I tell her that I really like it when she does stuff like that to me. In regards to sex, I am always the one to initiate anything and I also want to do stuff more often than she does. If given the choice, I would like to get physical at least once a week, but depending on her mood we do stuff anywhere from less than once a month to 2-3 times in a week. Then there are things like oral sex, where I love blowjobs and she says she enjoy doing them, but then when she actually goes to do it, she barely uses her mouth, if at all.

On top of things like that, she is fairly vanilla when it comes to her desires whereas I am willing to try just about anything. One big thing is that I have an anal fetish (stems from my first serious relationship where we only had anal sex - no vaginal sex) and she is completely against trying out anything anal related. I definitely respect that and believe that I can live with that, but I wonder if maybe that is a trigger for these periodic misgivings.

Now that I've written this all out and read it, it seems to be more of a rant and I'm not 100% sure what kind of advice I'm looking for. Thinking about it, I think my dilemma boils down to this: am I just hanging on to the relationship because it's familiar and so I'm fooling myself into thinking I'm happy, or am I just going through the normal anxiety associated with a progressing relationship?

Thanks in advance!

P.S. I feel like it might be important to mention that outside of my girlfriend, I have very few friends and nobody that I'm close to. I moved to where I am now about 6 years ago and have just never been able to find friends that I am completely comfortable with.

[4 ratties]

your sexually unsatisfied obviously. thats why your upset and for some men, theyre d ick is everything to them. which sucks but I know u cant help it. its natural to wanna mate. your gf sounds like shes really not into the anal thing. you cant really do much about it as u know. your young so maybe u have an itch to go live life and try being with other girls. nothing wrong with that. really do some soul searching on what u wanna do.we cant make a decision for you. dont waste your youth on a relationship your not satisfied in but i know you do love her so see if you guys can make a compromise to make u more satisfied. if she doesnt at least try out things to compromise then this will bother u until the relationship ends.can u live with never being sexually satisfied? oh and if your so into putting your d ick in a girls ahole why didnt u find out if she was into that three years ago?