Moving on or fight for him? Need help!

[marianargsantos]

Hi people! I've been trough some difficult days since my relationship came to an end. And it all happen without a warning. So.. I was with this guy since last October, and everything was going fine. We liked which other and we have a really cool and relaxed way of seeing our relationship. I must admit that at the beginning I was kind of distant - my previous relationship ended with a betrayal, and I have trust issues. So while he was super cute I was a little cold. I was insure of my will to be in another relationship. But in the last days I started to feel more secure, realizing he was different and that he deserved the best of me. Guess it was to late. He is going trough a bad time in his life - he is a full time soccer player and a part time English teacher. He feels his soccer career is coming to an end due his age (34) and the English classes do not satisfie him, in terms of money and in terms of personal accomplishment. He has the possibility to work in another country, and he is considering that. And we all know men - they start to panic when big decisions are ahead. In top of that, an ex girlfriend called him a few days ago, saying some things he didin't like, about how he knew about some family issues she was going trough, and how he just didn't cared. She left him felling guilty. So, he talked to me, explained all that, and ended up saying he's not in the best place right now to give me what he think I want, need and deserve. He said he feels lost. I saw how difficult for him was to make that decision. He was nervous and stressed, and I just played cool. I didn't want to put more pressure on him, so I just let him go. I said: I understand everything, and if I'm not part of the solution, I certainly don't want to be part of the problem. But now I'm having second thoughts. I mean: shouldn't I make him realize I liked him, and didn't want him to go? He probably thought I was not that sad with the breakup. So after 4 days with no contact, and with all this in my mind, I texted him: I miss you. It was really late so I didn't expected a reply right away, but he never replied at all. Felt like I was punched in the stomach. So this is my story. I feel lost, I miss him, his birthday is today and I don't know if I should say something or not. What should I do? Move on or fight for him?

[4 ratties]

he didnt reply so theres not much you can do.. is there another way to contact him to make sure he got the message?

[marianargsantos]

Well, if he does not want to reply me text, I think is right so assume he does not want o hear my or see me..So I don't think I can contact him in another way.. :/

[BackUpOrGetStng]

The only real way is to go confront him at his home.

[marianargsantos]

I know where he lives. But that type of "surprise motherf**ker" is not really my thing. Also, I don't think he would like that. But I must admit, deep inside, that's what I want to do.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

It doesn't have to be "surprise M*#&(@". Just talk to him.

[marianargsantos]

In my shoes, what would you say? (Keep in mind he didn't replied my text)

[BackUpOrGetStng]

I was just trying to get you to do something retarded.

Move on.

[marianargsantos]

That was incredible nice of you. Congrats.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Thank you!

[2Wheelslover]

How long ago was it since you sent him the text?

My ex text me asking if I was ok as I had been in an accident. I told him I was ok, and asked him how he was, but never got a reply. 2 months down with the line with no further contact at all and I'm being told by people he wants to talk to me. (Just opened a thread up about it)

It may be the case he does start contacting you again but after a month or 2. You may just need to give it time to see if he wants to give it another go.

If you really want to contact him now though, maybe send just One more text saying happy birthday or hope you had a nice birthday or something. Maybe try not to show your feelings to much by saying I miss you or love your or anything as he might feel awkward and not know what to reply with.

[Tall Penguin]

Arrange a get together for clarification.

It sounds like it is over, but by going and seeing him one more time you will know for sure. Since he has a habit of keeping in touch with ex's I'd tell him GOODBYE if he gives you the flick and move on with your life, however difficult that may seem right now. He's not a self-actualized person yet and wants to have all the good without the bad. You'll do better with someone comfortable in their own skin.

[michelle23]

He broke up with you! People never admit the truth when they dump you-they always give you some flowery excuse to try and spare your feelings. Its got nothing to do with him feeling lost or whatever other BS he said. The reality is he either lost interest in you or met someone else (or both) maybe hes getting back with his ex, maybe you were a rebound, maybe he just realized after 4months your not his type or your not compatible.. it happens

Anyway such a shirt term fling really isn't worth crying about so just move on and stop torturing yourself.

[marianargsantos]

At 23:58 I sent a text saying:" happy birthday! Hope you had a great day.kisses"! 5 minuts later he replied: " right on the limit (23:58), I almost got forgotten :p Thank you! How are you? Kisses". I said I was fine and asked how was he going. He didn't replied.

[marianargsantos]

Some though love! But you are right.