Hi
I hope someone can help me with this.
I met a guy a year ago on a dating site. It was going fantastic and he moved in with me. I really thought he was my soul mate. He was everything I ever wanted from a man.
Then it all started going wrong and he was becoming more and more aggressive. He is a recovering alcoholic and has been dry for 3 months.
we split up several times and each time we missed each other and got back together. Then in January this year we split up and this time I really felt it was for good. I accepted that I wasn't going to have a future with this guy and I need to forget about him and move on. We have not been in touch since.
In the meantime I had been speaking to a guy I have known for 3 years and he asked me out on a date to which I agreed.
Suddenly the other night I caught myself thinking about my ex and out of the blue I txt him simply saying " I have to see you " He immediately agreed and we arranged to meet at the weekend.
I went on the date with the guy I have know for sometime and we had a brilliant time. I ended up going back to his and one thing lead to another and we ended up sleeping together and it was great. He said he wanted to spend a lot more time with me. I agreed to meet him again 2 days after
Then here comes the problem: I felt that I wouldn't be bothered if my ex txt and said he'd changed his mind. Of course he didn't change his mind and I thought well I will go and meet him and i'm sure I will realise that it isn't meant to be and I would have closure. How wrong I was when I met him all the beautiful feelings I had were still there and he was saying how he loves me dearly and how he wants us to have a life together. we had an amazing time together and I felt like a princess again. My family will no longer accept him because of what happened, so I would have to see him in secret as I don't want them knowing
So now I am totally confused as I don't know if I'm on a hiding to nothing with my ex given he will always be an alcoholic albeit a non drinking one at the moment. I will always have the fear that he will drink again. I feel totally guilty for sleeping with the other guy but I genuinely like him and love spending time with him.
can anyone offer me any advice please
Someone help as I don't know where to turn