Hi so just after a bit of female advice on my situation
The breakup: we were only together 7 months. Things were difficult as I was coming to the end of my master's degree and struggling to find a job. She was just going into her final year and all the stresses that brings along with pressure from her parents. Her dad was also re-diagnosed with cancer which added to her stresses. Eventually we had a chat and I thought it fair to explain my situation and that I was having to expand my job hunt to further afield (more opportunities elsewhere). She cried that I might have to leave (first time I saw her cry). I said not to worry as I'd try to stay and even if I did go I'd try to make it work with her. Next day she calls me and asks if she can come over and talk. She comes over and says she's been thinking overnight and finishes with me saying that she can't do an LDR right now. I told her that I'm still trying to stay local if I can, but she says it doesn't matter as she can't deal with the uncertainty as it would make her lose focus. She kissed me and left in tears.
This was September 2013.
Afterwards: For the first couple of weeks we had light (but slightly strained) conversation. I then got a job that meant I could stay locally and I messaged her to say I had news and asked to meet for a drink. She didn't reply so I took the hint. After that there was no contact for 2 reasons: firstly I wanted to respect her wishes and secondly so I could move on with my life.
At first it worked. I really got stuck into my new job and got a promotion, joined sports clubs and made some new friends and dated new girls. Then after a (actually not too bad) date in early December she popped back into my head and I realised that I really missed her but still decided not to do anything as I still wanted to respect her wishes.
I finally gave in at Christmas and messaged her just to wish her a merry Christmas. She messaged me back to say thanks and that she hoped all was well with me too. (I guess just being friendly and I'm not reading into it)
Since then I've heard nothing from her but I still really miss her.
I don't know why it's so hard. I had relationships of 5 years and 2 years and I got over both of those just by going No Contact....for this it just hasn't worked and I still miss her.
So a few questions:
1) Should I send her a text to see how she is?
2) Should I call her?
3) Should I hang on until she has finished her studies and try then?
What would any of you feel given the situation? Is she likely to appreciate contact from me or will it annoy her? I don't want to ruin any future chances by just being impatient.
Bearing in mind she has had 1 text from me in 4 months and I have had the same from her, I think I have handled this pretty badly
I thought about sending her a Valentines card but I have reconsidered that as I think it's too much in the circumstances and is likely to creep her out more than anything.
Any advice appreciated (preferably female perspective hence posting it in here)