What to do?

[MarcB]

Hey guys

I've started this thread because I've been wondering about something for quiet awhile now. I feel like I need a advice, maybe just a hint or just some cheering words. Its kinda complicated, but I'll take my time and explain, so here it goes:

The fairytale starts about 2 years ago where I met this wonderful girl at a wedding. We was sitting on each side of the horseshoe and she slowly caught my attention through the evening. I tried to catch her attention countless times and eventually our eyes met. After that we was smiling and looking at each other through the dinner. I still remember her beautiful blue eyes and her warm white smile. Later that evening I finally found confidence to talk to her and we just clicked right in that moment. Even tho we both was sorta drunk/tipsy. At midnight I was pushing her on the swing and when she stood up we was looking right into each others eyes and kindly kissed. Rest of the evening was just like we slowly fell i love. The best day of my life I swear, everything just felt right.

After that evening we haven't seen each other, not because we didn't wanted to or haven't been talking about it enormous amounts of times , but because I went through a hard depression. I was anxious and not able to meet up and be social and she tried to understand and said she would wait for me. We tried to make some appointments, but I always failed to take action, also when she was in town. What a f#%^%+ douchbag, but sadly I cant change that even tho I would do anything. I feel guilty and so bad when I remind myself about that time.

I'm happy to say that I'm finally out on the other side and I've never been in a better shape than now.
Funny thing is that past all that time and those things that happened we still text and send each other pictures daily. I'm truly grateful for that, but I still got a thing for her and I just feel that we're so right for each other (so naiv I know after such long time). Of cause I know it wont be the same, also because she's lately been dating this guy.. She don't know where they stand or if they match, she feel like they're too different. We've always supported each other and of cause I support her in this case too, no matter how wrong I feel it is.. But the thing is that I want to fight for this girl, make upon my mistakes and meet up with her (we've lately been talking about it, but since she's too busy we haven't got any closer any dates).

So to prove to her that I've changed to the better and that I wont let her down anymore I thought of buying her something for Valentines Day. I really don't want her to be overwhelmed or feel uncomfortable, but I need to take action somehow. Maybe just a single rose or a bunch with my name on.

Is it too much after all that and when she's currently confused about the situation with the other guy?
Should I go for it or quit it?
What do you guys think?

[Mattiemae]

Well the thing is if you buy her flowers, the bf will see them, and they will get in fight. So that would be a little strong. Understandable you like this girl, and haven't had the chance really to date, I would keep it simple and buy her a small gift and card and keep at it a friendship level at the moment. If things should change, which you know they probably will, than wait for the right and appropriate time to become more than friends. Really friendship is a good thing to start with, and if grows stronger you have a steady and healthy foundation. I'm sure she will still like the gift, and appreciate it, but it's not so strong as a dozen roses and what they symbolize.

[MarcB]

Thank you for the advice. I really appreciate it!

Luckily she's not in a relationship right now, and I got the feeling from talking to her that she's not quiet sure about the other guy. They live like a hour away from each other so he wont see the roses if I decide to send her some. Im just more concerned about if its the right signal to send. Especially when we haven't seen each other in a such a long time, don't want her to think I'm desperate.

I really like the idea of sending her a gift instead, its a smoother way to express my feelings without being too direct.

[Mattiemae]

Not all woman, but some enjoy those gift bath sets, jewlery like bracelets, earrings, necklaces, perfumes. I always liked those little made up baskets. Like find and empty basket of some sort, candy snacks, teas, mixed with gifts, and combinations of things. If you know what I mean. I'm sure you've seen them before. Not so blatant that you love her, but says alot. Like you took the time to really pick out different things and package them together. You invested your time, money, and went out of your way to do something special. Could even put in their like Mcdonald's gift certificate, or spa gift card. There's no limit to it, and really so much more fun than flowers. lol

[bekho]

This is such a love actually situation. The one with the girl who just got married. The guy made a very quiet and cute confession of how he felt. Not expecting anything to change, not giving her any pressure, but a genuine expression of his feelings for her.

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[bekho]

Maybe if you just message her on Friday something sweet and see how it goes?

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[THX]

No flower(s). Just tell her what you want while respecting what she wants. Say something along the lines of. "I know your seeing another guy and I'm not looking to mess that up if it's what you want. I realise I've been kind of a douch since right after we first met, but if you find yourself single again I would like to make it up to you."