Girlfriend dumped me, then wrote a text 12 hours later

[charlie harper]

Hello, this is my initial post.

First of all, I am 24 and she's 18. We've been together since last October. We have a lot of chemistry and like each other. Before me, she had only kissed some other guys. Now with we have pretty much done everything except sex, but we've been naked and slept together several times, etc.

Yesterday, I arrived to her house at midnight and we were in her bedroom having oral sex, cuddling and talking until 5am. Since december I know she's intersted in an ex boyfriend who constantly talks to her and they see each other regularly at college. She isn't over him but she told me she loved me and I'm sure she's not lying. Thing is, she's confused and can't decide. At 5am yesterday, she told me she was visited by her ex boyfriend before I came. They went for a walk to the park. He tried to kiss her three times but she refused. She told me that she is confused and that prefers to be alone, but that she loves me. Then we broke up; however, we still kissed and had a very romantic moment as a farewell.

Obviously I've been depressed all day. I planned to start the No Contact Rule, but today at 6pm I received the following message from her:

"I phoned you in at 10am in the morning but your cell phone was not working. I'm very sorry, you don't realize how much I love you. I know I'm not doing the right thing. Do you remember I told you I had never cried for a guy before? Well, today I've been crying since the morning everytime I remember what I did [dump me]. I remember the times we went to the beach, to your house, to my room, to that restaurant, to the bookstore, when we went to the cinema. All time times you whatsapped and how I like to receive your messages, how I like to hug you and kiss you. Now I think that, as well as you returned me our photographs, you must have thrown away the letter I gave you and it makes me sad. On the other side, I realized that for a good while I prefer to be alone or at least not involved in nothing serious. But, even knowing this, if someday you have nothing to do and you want to go out with me, I'll be very happy. If not, please don't ignore me or disappear because I can't handle it. I will always thanks you for telling me I'm beautiful and for everything you've done for me. I will always remember the first time you told you love me. To know you is the best thing that has happened to me in recent times".

How the **** should I react to something like that?
She dumped and apparently regrets it (I really think she's always been honest), but still prefers to stay alone.

I will reply with a short text. Then start the No Contact Rule.

Suggestions?

Thanks.

[jdwise09]

To be honest it doesnt seem like a situation that will turn out in your favor. But there are times that you believe in what you want and I wouldnt disappear it will not make it easy on yourself or her and you will find yourself fighting over what you thought could be a friendship. The girls confused and young. Id say stick around dont force yourself at her and just be there, you will either find that you may not be together but you wont be one of the posters saying I ignored her and I still love her....BLAH BLAH sometimes things are worth putting a little more effort into the no contact rule will not provide you any answers but dont be a lost puppy just go for what you want and if it doesnt work out. YOu didnt fail you just didnt succeed

[basilandthyme]

I wouldn't send a reply to that.

[HDBadger]

Ignore. Seriously. A lot of women do this BS. Don't feed into it.

[PK1984]

she only wants you when she can't have you.
she's 18 and still growing as a person. her personality will change a lot in her 20s as she matures.
let her wallow for a while and then see what happens

[charlie harper]

Today she called me and said she's misses me. She wants to still go out with me, although without the "relationship" status, she wants to start again and do it slowly.

I told her I'm going to think about it, that I'm not sure. In a couple of days I will resume contact.

I'm in love with her. It's hard to just stop this.

Comments?

[surfhb2]

Of course it hard. The fact remains she's not mature enough to handle a relationship you want. If you can live with that be my guess and contact her.

[FlaCooln]

Wow everyone is so quick to tell you to call it quits for the relationship. I disagree. From what you have told us she has been very honest with you and she sounds like a good person. Also, her talking to you and being so open about this is a great sign IMHO. (good communication is key)

Yes, she is young, yes she needs to grow/mature. But, you love each other....Give it another shot man, IMHO you will regret it if u don't. Plus your only 24 and still a young pup...you two can grow together. I'm a romantic, so take my opinion with that in mind.

[surfhb2]

Wow everyone is so quick to tell you to call it quits for the relationship. I disagree. From what you have told us she has been very honest with you and she sounds like a good person. Also, her talking to you and being so open about this is a great sign IMHO. (good communication is key)

Yes, she is young, yes she needs to grow/mature. But, you love each other....Give it another shot man, IMHO you will regret it if u don't. Plus your only 24 and still a young pup...you two can grow together. I'm a romantic, so take my opinion with that in mind.

Maybe its because alot of us are much older then you and realize life is too short to deal with this kind of crap

[FlaCooln]

Maybe its because alot of us are much older then you and realize life is too short to deal with this kind of crap

Well I'm 32. So maybe you are older then me. I have not been jaded by failed relationships. My relationships have ended because the exGFs were not the right ones for me. I haven't been cheated on or dumped, like many have. Thus, I approach each relationship a new. So IMHO my view is much closer to where the OP is comming from just with some experience added without being so jaded.


To the OP...do what your heart tells you man. IMHO its much better to regret what you did than to regret what you didn't do.

[surfhb2]

Well I'm 32. So maybe you are older then me. I have not been jaded by failed relationships. My relationships have ended because the exGFs were not the right ones for me. I haven't been cheated on or dumped, like many have. Thus, I approach each relationship a new. So IMHO my view is much closer to where the OP is comming from just with some experience added without being so jaded.


To the OP...do what your heart tells you man. IMHO its much better to regret what you did than to regret what you didn't do.

The gut trumps the heart any day of the week

[sophiaadam]

i think you should start your life again and you will find many interesting relationships