I desperately want her back

[Shivangi]

Thank you very much for your valuable advices guys and for sympathising with me.
It's satisfying to see how strangers help each other even in their personal affairs.


Yes. I also kind of presumed that 6 years is too long a time and it's already over now.
I've tried my best to forget her, but couldn't succeed. I even used to dream of her.

My circumstances, situations don't allow me to socialise.
I've often noticed people don't like me, try to avoid me, refuse to help me etc. and
these things break my trust in people. I've been a loner. I love doing works alone(be it making a breakfast or
fixing my computer) and hate to depend upon others. The only things I'm good at
is my studies and my instrument, musical instrument
(in fact, I excel in these two, don't take it as I'm bragging about myself).
I basically don't like people, except a few.
'Getting a life' is easier said than done, at least for such a guy like me.


I've said that before, but saying again. Should I say her that I liked her?
Could it entangle me in any problem if I do that?
I know she would probably be surprised, laugh, mock or find excuses that she's engaged
or even say "What do yo mean?!"
but I'd at least heave the sigh of relief of having told her my feelings, regardless of her response to it.
This makes sense, don't you think?

Since you are mentally prepared for any answer, just go ahead and tell her that you used to like her. See her response and then play the game further. If she laughs and mocks...pretend it was a past crush and not now. If you do that you will get to know her response to it. Also it will push you out of the friends zone.
You need to be more confident about yourself. Do not keep telling yourself that you are a loser. No one is...it only depends on what you tell yourself. No girl will be attracted to a guy who calls himself loser, scared to mingle etc. Change yourself, act more confident, take decisions with positive mind etc. Like they said in earlier posts build your confidence in yourself.

[lucky43g2]

Why not take the romantic feelings off the table
by chalking it up as not going to ever happen, and just be friends with her
instead. Maybe she has a few GFs she could introduce you to in the future.

Easier said than done man!




Yes, I can ask her out, but who knows she might take it in the wrong way and
our little acquaintance could fade. We're at least friends now, but if I let her know
that, we may become strangers, that's even worse!

Also, the girl is known to almost all friends of mine. I may get in trouble if they
come to know about this, they may rumour. By the way, the guy who is reportedly
her boyfriend, is the one I know since 2 years back when we both had been classmates.

Easier would it be to ask her out had we been a little closer and a bit more acquainted.
It's second to impossible to conclude whether she has any feelings, or we are even
less than friends. It's not working out in text chat.

[smackie9]

Everyone fears that if they pull away they will lose them, but it's further from the truth. The less avaiable you are the more desirable you become.

If you can't handle being friends take a break from her. The chat thing isn't working because she's not that interested. You are just crushing, and in time someone else will catch your eye. This type of thing will come and go in your life....you will learn how it all works when you get older.

[sophiaadam]

i know that you love her much but you should start your life again and you will forget her

[lucky43g2]

Really just talk to every girl you can no matter what age or where it is, and just practice having a natural conversation with out any strings attached. If you learn different things, you have like art, literature, music, what ever to talk about with people, or what's in the news. Just get comfortable talking to them. Learn about how their personalities are, if you know how a woman acts naturally just being your friend, you will know when the time comes the difference when a woman likes you. The more woman you talk to, you get past the fears, and don't worry about what they think of you.

Now if a woman likes you, they will show interest in you. Usually will flirt with you. Make jokes, hug you, kiss you on the cheek, call you and can't get their mind off you. Will usually look for you every where, on facebook, text messages, phone. Some woman will chase you, while others will make you do the work. Depends on whether they are old fashioned, or like the power to pursue the guy.

Really there is no way to teach you how to know the difference except for you to talk to different age woman, because of course most woman aren't going to hit on you if their far older, but you can tell what a simple conversation, friendly smile, or certain body language that you wouldn't associate with dating. Younger woman these days kind of dress exposing just about everything. So that doesn't mean anything. I've seen younger woman today hug and kiss and only mean friendship. Really woman today kind of take things to far in my opinion if they're just friends, and like the attention. It's more of a mind game today with clothes, fashion, pics half exposing themselves on social network sites, and being all Indie.

Really just know when it's mean to happen it will happen, just look at both their words and actions. Sometimes they act one way but say something else. So if the words and actions match that is an indicator they like you.

Yes, I got you. But what I'm interested to know is what a guy supposed to do here?
Does it 'entirely' depend upon the girl whether the relationship is going to be a
friendship or more than that? What if a guy finds a girl attractive in a romantic way
but the girl has no romantic feelings whatsoever? Does the guy have nothing to do
here other than being content with the friendship?




She told me that she was having many problems with her boy and thus
had recently broken up a few days ago and that she would never be
in love again! I know ladies like to vent and I think she would even have
described all the gory details if I would ask her. I tried to sympathise
with her which seemed that she didn't appreciate. I don't know,
although uninterested, why she conferred with me such personal matters.


I'm also thinking now to give up. If something could be done, I
should've done it earlier. Now it's too late.

[basilandthyme]

Yes, I got you. But what I'm interested to know is what a guy supposed to do here?
Does it 'entirely' depend upon the girl whether the relationship is going to be a
friendship or more than that? What if a guy finds a girl attractive in a romantic way
but the girl has no romantic feelings whatsoever? Does the guy have nothing to do
here other than being content with the friendship?

It's not a gender thing. Just as often a girl can want a guy who doesn't return the feeling. And yes, it's true that if a guy/girl doesn't want a relationship with that person, then it's just not going to happen.

She told me that she was having many problems with her boy and thus
had recently broken up a few days ago and that she would never be
in love again! I know ladies like to vent and I think she would even have
described all the gory details if I would ask her. I tried to sympathise
with her which seemed that she didn't appreciate. I don't know,
although uninterested, why she conferred with me such personal matters.

She told you because you were there. She probably also told you because you're NOT close to her. Sometimes it can be easier to unburden to someone who's not close than to one who is.

The way forward for you is to improve your social skills. What have you tried so far to become more social? Have you ever seen a psychologist?