Middle Ground Between Dating and 'Hanging Out?'

[CA23012]

I was going back and forth with this girl a few weeks (almost a month..) ago. I've known her for almost six years, having met in college, but we've only ever really hung out a couple times. Our relationship pretty much kept going via text/Facebook, due primarily to the fact that she has traveled around and has always been long distance. She moved fairly closely recently, and pretty much came back into the picture after a recent break-up, so I'm trying to keep my eyes open about this. Anyways, after catching up two weekends in a row and a couple of awkward sexual encounters, she started telling me how she's 'tough to date' and things are tough for her due to her recent break-up. That was the point where we pretty much fell off, aside from the occasional text.

I've not ruled out the likely possibility that I was just the rebound (I'll throw out there that she mentioned having had a crush on me for a long time), but I want to give it another shot.

The problem is she's a few cities over from me (solid 1-1.5 hr drive). On top of that, we have basically no mutual acquaintances (she met a couple of my friends years ago, and I met her friends one time when we caught up). So I think for her, she sees me as just too far off the grid.

So I got it in my mind that I would call her up and invite her out if I got something going with my friends. That way she might have more incentive to come out this way if she has a more fleshed-out social circle here. Plus it would give us more to talk about and, ideally, strengthen our relationship.

Problem with that is... while I'm more inclined not to put a label to things, I think that with her outlook she'd be inclined to friend-zone me with this approach. Plus my friends like to drink, which is more than likely what we'd end up doing, and I did that with her the last two times we caught up, so I don't want to give her the impression that she'd fall in that rut with me.

I could go for broke and propose a date.. but again, between the 'off-the-grid' vibe and the fact that we haven't talked for a while (and what she told me last time we talked is none too encouraging..) feels like coming on a bit too strong.

So basically I'm just trying to figure out what I should try planning, given the circumstances. I need something decent if I want to persuade her to make the trip out. Should I be trying to plan one-on-one, or introduce her to my friends (or maybe both)..? Open to suggestions

[smackie9]

She's not really into you so why are you even bothering. She said she is hard to date...that means "I'm really not that interested". Most girls don't come out and say that they are not interested, they hope with excuses, and lack of texting, will be enough to discourage you.

[CA23012]

I guess I'm just thinking from that 'nothing to lose' state of mind. If I don't call her, guaranteed nothing happens, but if I do, something might or I'll just be in the same place I am now.

Besides, I've known this girl for years, so unless I'm committed to the idea of never speaking to her again, I figure I may as well call sooner than later. If I do reach out though, I'm just not sure what my best approach should be.

[smackie9]

And I'm saying the best approach is to just move on and forget about it.