girlfriend strayed any insight?

[soulsacr]

Been in a relationship with a girl for 8 years. Have had our ups and downs like anyone else. Been planning on getting engaged soona nd she knew that. Not making excuses but I have been under financial pressure and I have been mistreating her verball. I sensed that she was talking to a guy at work(due to her behavior) so I told her if she was going to be running around she shouldn't do it while living with me. Things blew up and she left our apt. After she left I asked her if we were still togehter and she said yes that she just needed time to herself. While she was gone she was still paying rent coming over for sex. While she was gone I worked on myself and decided never to be do her wrong again. She comes back a month or so after she leaves we start working things out and she sees the changes in behaviorm. I ask her if she went out and did anything cause I sensed it she said nothing happened. After about a month of her being back I look through her phone and come to find out that she hung out with this guy(who has a girlfriend) and they ended up making out. Find out she was s texting and flirting with him after coming back to me but nothing happened after she returned. Says that she thought we were over and that his attention was nice and that she should of stopped texting him after she came back. I have stayed with her so far and still plan to marry her any advice?

[smackie9]

She was honest about it and it's good that she made the decision to work things out with you. A lot of couples go through stuff where they have a moment of weakness like this and realize that what they have is worth saving. Just let it be.

[soulsacr]

She was honest about it and it's good that she made the decision to work things out with you. A lot of couples go through stuff where they have a moment of weakness like this and realize that what they have is worth saving. Just let it be.

What makes it hard is that she didn't tell me I had t look for the truth. The fact that she led me on by telling me we were still together and that she continued talking to him after she came back to me. I am still torn between my love for her and our future and the pain and hurt caused bywhat happened

[Wakeup]

After 8 years you haven't married her yet but you've "been going to ask her" makes me think that perhaps she's not the right one for you anyway. Living together and never planning on marrying is one thing but to stretch a "courtship" out that long when you both did want to marry tells me that there is a reason why the deed never got done.

Up to you if you want to stay with her and work this out but I'd suggest you get some couples councelling to learn how to re-establish trust and how to keep your emotional bond strong and healthy. That way neither of you will take one another for granted and you'll both learn about personal and relationship boundaries that will keep you from falling into this kind of thing again.

[smackie9]

Yes get couples counseling so you can vent your hurt constructively during the sessions. This will get things sorted out before you do get married. Fix it first, not later.