Since you enable her to be the cheater that she is by not leaving her when she does this, then why don't you just stay with her and open up your relationship so that BOTH of you get the needs met that neither of you are able to give one another? That way you can just be like roomies until your kids are grown up and then you can part ways. After all, that's what you're doing now anyway. The only thing different then what I suggest is you're the only one not getting your sexual needs met.
Sorry you're hurting but your codependence on her is what is killing you emotionally. You keep allowing her to do what she does because you feel you can't live without her so you stay and complain and enable.
This is a simple shit or get off the pot scenario. Learn ways to cope with it or get completely away from it. There is no other solution. She needs some therapy so that she can figure out whats wrong with her self-worth so she stops getting her feelings of worth and "prettiness" via the attention of men. Why she's addicted to new relationship energy. You need therapy to help you get the strength to form solid boundaries that if she crosses on you, you're gone.
Here's some links that will help you... if not in this relationship then at least so you don't repeat in the next one.
http://psychcentral.com/lib/the-importance-of-personal-boundaries/0001112
http://psychcentral.com/lib/the-importance-of-personal-boundaries/0001112
Codependent people have weak boundaries or non at all. Work on yours, OP.
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Originally Posted by
Wakeup
Since you enable her to be the cheater that she is by not leaving her when she does this, then why don't you just stay with her and open up your relationship so that BOTH of you get the needs met that neither of you are able to give one another? That way you can just be like roomies until your kids are grown up and then you can part ways. After all, that's what you're doing now anyway. The only thing different then what I suggest is you're the only one not getting your sexual needs met.
Sorry you're hurting but your codependence on her is what is killing you emotionally. You keep allowing her to do what she does because you feel you can't live without her so you stay and complain and enable.
This is a simple shit or get off the pot scenario. Learn ways to cope with it or get completely away from it. There is no other solution. She needs some therapy so that she can figure out whats wrong with her self-worth so she stops getting her feelings of worth and "prettiness" via the attention of men. Why she's addicted to new relationship energy. You need therapy to help you get the strength to form solid boundaries that if she crosses on you, you're gone.
Here's some links that will help you... if not in this relationship then at least so you don't repeat in the next one.
http://psychcentral.com/lib/the-importance-of-personal-boundaries/0001112
http://psychcentral.com/lib/the-importance-of-personal-boundaries/0001112
Codependent people have weak boundaries or none at all. Work on yours, OP.
On Edit:
basically she needs to take responsibility for her thoughts, emotions, feelings, beliefs, and actions towards herself and you.
And so do you, Op. Stop your enabling behaviour, form personal boundaries and work on your own self-worth. If you don't, then you will likely end up picking (or once again staying with)someone without boundaries herself and with the need for male attention just like the other one.
It always takes two to tango. (not saying that is an excuse to cheat because it's not).
“The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.” ~Joan Didion