Becoming "just friends" after a relationship?

[inhopelesslove]

Hey guys (I'm new here so forgive me for any mistakes in the rules),

I've been chasing this girl for around 3 years now. I told her that I liked her pretty soon, and she told me that she felt that way too. I learned later that she actually only said this because she was confused and didn't know what to do (we've never been in a relationship before). So after a year or so, we got to know each other a lot better and I decided to ask her out again. She said yes this time genuinely, and we've had a good streak from then to 6 months later, when I broke up with her after I felt she started being cold to me and started saying things behind my back. After that, there was a period of around 4 months where we didn't speak at all. After that we went on a school trip together, and started talking and acting like before. She told me that she felt like she liked me again. We've been on good terms since then (not in a relationship), but we both knew our feelings for each other, that there was something more. Recently she asked me how I felt if we were to just "remain friends". She then poured out all her feelings and said that she can see me as a brother or romantically, but she felt uncomfortable when seeing my romantically. She said that she feels comfortable around me while treating me like a brother, but at the same time she still "likes me" in "that way". This isn't the first time it's happened, so I acted a bit mad at her, which may have scared her a bit. Later on in the night she told me that she loved me in a variety of ways, and the next day she reinforced that she did see me romantically, and would get jealous if I showed interest toward any other girl.

The thing is that this up and down path has been going on for some time, and she always felt regret after we fought. She comes back to me after a fight or disagreement acting all sweet and happy again, and I can't resist talking to her and becoming her friend again. The truth is that I want to escape from this "relationship", but every time I try I get sucked right back into it.

Overall, she says repeatedly that she likes/loves me, but treats me just like a friend, with the occasional hug and kiss. I don't know what to do. I could keep trying for her and perhaps hope for us both to mature and progress, of I could try and leave her entirely.

[Boisdevie]

She's using you,she likes having you around drooling after her. She won't change so don't waste another 3 years of your life. Ignore her and fine a real girlfriend, perhaps one that'll let you see her naked.

[searock]

She doesn't like you "that way" and I'm sure you have better things to do than to wait until she maybe one day does.

Tell her clearly that you don't want to be "just friends" with her, so it's best if you don't see each other anymore. Tell her if she ever changes her mind about wanting a relationship with you, she knows where to find you, but up till then she should leave you alone. She may be too immature to understand it now and she may try to beg and guilt-trip you into remaining in this unhealthy "friendship" (it's not actually friendship obviously), so be prepared to block her number/email/facebook. She will understand one day, when she grows up - and you will also learn how to not end up in the situation you are now.

[michelle23]

She just likes the attention. She doesnt want you but doesnt want anyone else to have you either coz she likes the ego boost you keep giving her. Shes obviously v immature and selfish and you have been v naive to let her play with you like this for so long. Enough is enough. You gotta put your foot down and get her out of your life for good. Tell her your not playing this game no more and its better for both of you if you go your separate ways now. Mean it and dont get sucked back in again