So do you work for it or just sit on your ass and NOT try?

[AnErin]

No this is not about some person who I met on facebook or any of that crap we see every other thread...

There seems to be two contradicting schools of thought about finding a relationship/love.

One is - "It happens when you are not looking."
Other is - "You cannot sit around and hope, you have to look".

I am no expert on this but it seems that if you do NOTHING, as in, not looking, you cannot expect much.
In life, even working at something is no guarantee of success. Sitting on your ass renders nothing.

I already know one or more of the four major assholes of this forum will chime in with their snark remarks but I am curious what others think of this.

[basilandthyme]

Both are true and work with each other.

We can stumble on love when we're not looking for it. However, I think there's a fair assumption that this will involve actually leaving the house and not sitting around moping and hoping.

It's about putting yourself out there, and taking a good chance if it's offered....but at the same time, not appearing like you're LOOKING.

[HeartIsAching]

No this is not about some person who I met on facebook or any of that crap we see every other thread...

There seems to be two contradicting schools of thought about finding a relationship/love.

One is - "It happens when you are not looking."
Other is - "You cannot sit around and hope, you have to look".

I am no expert on this but it seems that if you do NOTHING, as in, not looking, you cannot expect much.
In life, even working at something is no guarantee of success. Sitting on your ass renders nothing.

I already know one or more of the four major assholes of this forum will chime in with their snark remarks but I am curious what others think of this.

You're looking at it wrong.

It cannot happen if you're not available. You've got to make yourself available to the appropriate people in order for it to happen. This means getting out and doing things where like-minded people will be.

It is much less likely to happen if you look like you're on the prowl* - desperation is unattractive.



*Except in a club/bar, but generally those people are not relationship material, they're boff-and-forget material.