Solidarity does not exist in relationship world

[Kalfusadon]

Dude I probably get blown off and rejected by pretty girls more than anyone on this forum so I know how you feel.

Pfff... I have never got rejected by anyone... I have never talked to a girl besides my mom... I am so afraid of people that i would rather burn alive than talk to them... I hate everyone who is happy...i have paranoid thoughts of even my own parents talking shit behind my back..my broblems are something bizarre... They are usually too hardcore for people to understand, all that "everyone has hope" bullshit does not affect me and thats what im here for... Cause i know that some people wil be forever alone and they cant help it!

[uri]

It's not only in Finland where the girls are shallow but the girls where I live (I live in Haifa, Israel btw) are quite shallow too. If you are an ugly and slightly obese guy like me then you have no chance in getting reciprocal affection from the women you like.

This is the 28th Valentine day where I will be without girlfriend. I feel jealous when I see a man dating an attractive woman or even getting married to a lovely lady, knowing that I will never be able to get reciprocal affection from such a lady.

[rest77]

The first step of changing is realizing you have a problem and getting some help for it, whether you take it slow and just speak to people online via voice or you just jump into the scary deep water and realize you can actually swim is up to you.

He realized it he had a problem and thats why he posted here for answers/advice.

I am so afraid of people that i would rather burn alive than talk to them... I hate everyone who is happy...i have paranoid thoughts of even my own parents talking shit behind my back..my broblems are something bizarre... They are usually too hardcore for people to understand, all that

After reading these lines. I would honestly recommend you to seek Help and PRAYER from a good church that is Holy Ghost filled. Believe me, you need more than advice or answer in this forum. Its a not normal, you need help. Any good pastor will be willing to pray with you if really want.

[uri]

I'm in the same situation as Kalfusadon.

I have no friends and no girlfriend and absolutely no one cares about me besides my parents. And my parents only have another 20 years to live but when my parents will die in 20 years from now then I will be completely alone in this world. I'm almost 30 and am still a virgin and never had a girlfriend and I don't think I will ever get married and have a big and happy family.

The future looks kinda bleak and very lonely for me. I think I will always be alone and without love and I don't want that kind of future. I want to be loved and I want to be cared for and accepted.

But on the other hand, I don't want to spend my entire life with a woman who I'm not feeling physically attracted to. Ever since high school, I always had trouble getting reciprocal affection from girls and the fact is that I don't get any affection from beautiful women at all and probably I never will because I'm ugly (and poor).

So ugly and poor = no affection from beautiful women.

So when my parents die I may as well commit suicide and spare me a lonely life of misery.

I need someone to take care of me because I can't get along by my own. I have a disability so I can't get along in this world without someone to help me (for example cook for me, drive for me because I can't drive and help me around the house and stuff).

[Kalfusadon]

He realized it he had a problem and thats why he posted here for answers/advice.






After reading these lines. I would honestly recommend you to seek Help and PRAYER from a good church that is Holy Ghost filled. Believe me, you need more than advice or answer in this forum. Its a not normal, you need help. Any good pastor will be willing to pray with you if really want.

I have never believed in god and never will, if god would exist then why am i like this? God loves everyone? Thats just bullshit! God is neither bourgeois or blind and deaf and not even godly force will cure me... Im like a plague for this forld...

[uri]

I have never believed in god and never will, if god would exist then why am i like this? God loves everyone? Thats just bullshit! God is neither bourgeois or blind and deaf and not even godly force will cure me... Im like a plague for this forld...

I also think that God does not exist. Otherwise why are there so many people suffering so much?

Also I'm in the same boat as you. I'm over 28 years old and depressed like hell because I never had sex or a girlfriend.

Many times I am inclined to think that this life is not even worth living, but I feel the need to go on. And why? I don't even know. I don't think that anyone cares about me anyway so if I decided to commit suicide tomorrow I don't think that anyone will even care or notice that I'm gone.

[Kalfusadon]

I also think that God does not exist. Otherwise why are there so many people suffering so much?

Also I'm in the same boat as you. I'm over 28 years old and depressed like hell because I never had sex or a girlfriend.

Many times I am inclined to think that this life is not even worth living, but I feel the need to go on. And why? I don't even know. I don't think that anyone cares about me anyway so if I decided to commit suicide tomorrow I don't think that anyone will even care or notice that I'm gone.

Life can be like poetry of demons... Farewell brother...

[HeartIsAching]

Old thread.

[Valixy]

We all have some kind of struggle in our lives, Kafusadon, and all we learn to deal better with it in time. 17 is an awkward age for many, some hide it better than others, that's all.

My advice for you would be to discover something that you like and follow thay way. If it's gaming that you like, socialize that way, follow the important events, transform it in an outlet for your creativity together with other things that could interest you.

Do you like animals? A dog is a wonderful companion, it never fails to make you laugh or surprise you, forces one to take a walk at least twice a day and provides instant natural contact and communication with other people of all ages who also have dogs or who simply want to stop and admire/play with yours. There is a huge difference between going for a walk on your own or with your dog, believe me. Being outside on the street, in the parks, on the beach, in the mountains becomes an absolute joy :-)

Voluntary work is also much needed and appreciated and besides puts one in contact with kind hearted people who have different values from the ones we can see every day.

Sometimes all we need is to care about someone else and we'll suddenly find it much easier to go outside our comfort zone, shyness or whatever may prevent us from experiencing more in life and be ourselves.

[Kalfusadon]

We all have some kind of struggle in our lives, Kafusadon, and all we learn to deal better with it in time. 17 is an awkward age for many, some hide it better than others, that's all.

My advice for you would be to discover something that you like and follow thay way. If it's gaming that you like, socialize that way, follow the important events, transform it in an outlet for your creativity together with other things that could interest you.

Do you like animals? A dog is a wonderful companion, it never fails to make you laugh or surprise you, forces one to take a walk at least twice a day and provides instant natural contact and communication with other people of all ages who also have dogs or who simply want to stop and admire/play with yours. There is a huge difference between going for a walk on your own or with your dog, believe me. Being outside on the street, in the parks, on the beach, in the mountains becomes an absolute joy :-)

Voluntary work is also much needed and appreciated and besides puts one in contact with kind hearted people who have different values from the ones we can see every day.

Sometimes all we need is to care about someone else and we'll suddenly find it much easier to go outside our comfort zone, shyness or whatever may prevent us from experiencing more in life and be ourselves.

1. Time wont change anything, that part of my life is dead and buried, we change dramaticly at ages 10-15 after that we are pretty much changed enough for our lifetime

2. I already walk for around 15 km per day and i do not hate anything else more than praises from other people.

3. My gaming world is quite different from normal, and that gendre of gaming i do is filled with 20-40 year old fat males (MCS & realistic fantasy RPG)

4. I have said it before and i will say it again, voluntary work is imbossibility since i hate/fear people more than anything.

5. Just a simple reality that some of us do not deserve to live a happy life, we exist only to sustain balance between good and bad.

[dem862]

5. Just a simple reality that some of us do not deserve to live a happy life, we exist only to sustain balance between good and bad.

Thank you for your service.

[Valixy]

I sometimes wondered to what extent can having 73 days of light and 6 months of darkness or very little sun a year affect people's life? A friend of mine planned to go to Finland for three months years ago, she was studying Finish at the university then but came back after only two weeks. She couldn't get used to no night and having to sleep with the shutters down. She was speaking wonders of the country, the social system and how polite people were but I had rarely seen her so sad as then.

You're probably very well adapted there if you are native, but still those special conditions must limit your social interaction and affect your mood daily, maybe even without realising. Surprisingly though the few Finish people I've met were very very nice people and with a very optimistic view upon life. How do you perceive the special climate, long winters and the very particular day and night cycle?

[Kalfusadon]

I sometimes wondered to what extent can having 73 days of light and 6 months of darkness or very little sun a year affect people's life? A friend of mine planned to go to Finland for three months years ago, she was studying Finish at the university then but came back after only two weeks. She couldn't get used to no night and having to sleep with the shutters down. She was speaking wonders of the country, the social system and how polite people were but I had rarely seen her so sad as then.

You're probably very well adapted there if you are native, but still those special conditions must limit your social interaction and affect your mood daily, maybe even without realising. Surprisingly though the few Finish people I've met were very very nice people and with a very optimistic view upon life. How do you perceive the special climate, long winters and the very particular day and night cycle?

I love darkness and cold above everything, sun makes people too open and darkness allowes me to stay away from sight.

[Valixy]

1. Time wont change anything, that part of my life is dead and buried, we change dramaticly at ages 10-15 after that we are pretty much changed enough for our lifetime

You continue to change fortunately. Many of us would be miserable human beings if we had got stuck forever with the exact person we were at puberty or adolescence. What a strange age with so many confusing and uncontrollable major emotional changes, pressuring external demands and false expectations about what life should be like! Maturity is a great gift from life that brings you much strength, joy, intelligence, wisdom, the power to overcome many aspects of the personality and the capacity to discriminate between what really suits you and what doesn't and especially to what extent is the other people's opininon important (not much really).

Your shyness comes from a very common fear of not being liked, or maybe judged and rejected, probably. Listen, the others are just as imperfect as you are, or were or will be, maybe even more than you've ever been. To hell with what they may think. If they have developed certain personal qualities they can only interact with you normally and with respect, if they haven't developed them, well, they still have a long way to go and you shouldn't bother with them.

Look for things that you can enjoy besides gaming, whatever they may be, find your passion or passions in life and dedicate yourself to them, learn, practice, investigate, help others and you will be generating a positive interaction with people who have a lot in common with you. When you suceed to connect with people in a positive way, your shyness will disappear little by little, because there isn't much place for shyness for when we are feeling happy :-) Take little steps every day towards discovering yourself, what you may like, what makes you happy and expand your horizon. The rest will come on its own in time, I can assure you :-) Try, experiment, and you'll find what resonates with you in this life and when you find that treasure, you'll also find who to share it with.

[Kalfusadon]

You continue to change fortunately. Many of us would be miserable human beings if we had got stuck forever with the exact person we were at puberty or adolescence. What a strange age with so many confusing and uncontrollable major emotional changes, pressuring external demands and false expectations about what life should be like! Maturity is a great gift from life that brings you much strength, joy, intelligence, wisdom, the power to overcome many aspects of the personality and the capacity to discriminate between what really suits you and what doesn't and especially to what extent is the other people's opininon important (not much really).

Your shyness comes from a very common fear of not being liked, or maybe judged and rejected, probably. Listen, the others are just as imperfect as you are, or were or will be, maybe even more than you've ever been. To hell with what they may think. If they have developed certain personal qualities they can only interact with you normally and with respect, if they haven't developed them, well, they still have a long way to go and you shouldn't bother with them.

Look for things that you can enjoy besides gaming, whatever they may be, find your passion or passions in life and dedicate yourself to them, learn, practice, investigate, help others and you will be generating a positive interaction with people who have a lot in common with you. When you suceed to connect with people in a positive way, your shyness will disappear little by little, because there isn't much place for shyness for when are feeling happy :-) Take little steps every day towards discovering yourself, what you may like, what makes you happy and expand your horizon. The rest will come on its own in time, I can assure you :-) Try, experiment, and you'll find what resonates with you in this life and when you find that treasure, you'll also find who to share it with.

I am not shy. I have diagnosed these several disorders "avoidant personality disorder", Paranoia, schizotypal disorder, antsocial disorder, Schizoid disorder.

So do you still think its just passing phase or do you just think i can go and meet or help people?

Let me list couple of things i find disgusting and useless: love, friendship, caring, happyness, social interaction. In my opinion world would be better without these plagues of 21th century.

Only thing i like besides gaming is going deep in the woods somewhere around midnight, by deep i mean when the next house will be in 2 km, and when i get to pretty much in the middle of the wilderness i just sit on a rock or something and play my shaman drup for hours... And thats not wery social hobby, and that person who would disturb my peace in those woods would never have courage to go to woods again...