How do you get over a girl you were never actually with?

[itlnbuc]

I told this girl, both seniors in high school, that I really liked her as more than a friend back in December. She told me she liked me back but was not looking for a relationship at the moment and said not now but "I am definitely not crossing out the future between us." So, not really sure if she was being sincere or not, I really pursued it for another month and it honestly seemed like I was making progress and we got A LOT closer and she really led me on. But then she randomly started being distant, did not talk for like two weeks and so she started talking to another guy, just leaving me in her back pocket, and when he ended things quick with her, she used me for emotional support. Then she hooks up with one of my friends and leads him on too but then tells him the same thing she told me on how she was not looking for a relationship, which I now know is a lie because she was seriously interested in the guy who broke things off with her. I let her use me for emotional support and even physical support (she is sometimes in a wheel chair because of a disease she has and often times I will push her where she needs to go, I helped her parents move houses while she was at work for 3 hours, and also drove 5 of HER friends an hour down to the beach for her birthday) and people always tell me she is being a b*tch to me and is just using me as an ego boost and that I should just let it go and I see it too but I just don't see it as any reason to hate her.

I seriously try to not think about her but at the end of the day, she is the last thing i think about every night. I play sports, talk to other girls, stay busy, and really do my best to just get over everything. But whenever we come in contact, whether be it be in person or just a text, all the progress I make goes straight out the window and I go head over heals for her again. We have this "we almost dated but stayed good friends" relationship and it bugs the crap out of me. Its like I am just a "back up plan" and that she does just enough to keep me in her life and keep me interested with no real intentions of ever being more than good friends and it really sucks but, for some reason, I still have this voice telling me that it could still happen if I just stick it out and I continue to put myself through hell and back for her which sucks even more. How can I get over my feelings for her without cutting her completely out of my life. I want to be able to be friends without all the other crap going through my head and I sit next to her everyday in school so there really is no avoiding her.

[smackie9]

You want this and you want that but guess what, it ain't gonna happen. We always desire more what we can't have. It's part of our survival instinct that keeps us alive, but unfortunately when it comes to the matters of the heart it can be very painful and stressful. It like being addicted. Addiction will make us manipulate, steal, fight and lie to get what we want. We hate the way we behave, clawing for the very thing we desire, making us do things we wouldn't normally do. So we all know how to get over an addiction....to get rid of the source of our problem. Right now you are talking like an addict because you can't seem to live without her and the thought of doing so is killing you. You have no choice but to cut her out. The way to do it is to just tell her like it is. You have very strong feeling for her and since she wouldn't be your GF, you need time apart so you can get over her and heal. As for school, you can talk to your teacher and have the seating plan changed so you can sit by the door to make your escape without having to run into her, or even better yet transfer to another class. This an easy solution, I have done it myself.

[smackie9]

OK so you say you were led on, how about her? Was there not motivation behind you doing all those things you did for her?? She was under the assumption that you were friends and just being nice, then you turn it around on her saying she's the one that was leading you on. You have to remember you both are young, and still learning and understanding the process of feelings. She is emotionally attached to you and is unsure how she really sees you, friend or an interest, she doesn't intentionally LEAD you on. You are doing it to yourself. You can just walk away if you don't like a situation. So stop being a wuss, and distance yourself.