Men and Gold Diggers

[fearoflove]

Why do men say they hate gold diggers but work so hard to obtain money to impress women? If they are able to get attractive women with their money, do they care if she is a gold digger? Seem like they don't.

[basilandthyme]

You talking out your arse again fearoflove?

I don't know any man who works hard to "obtain money to impress women". The men I know who work hard are more concerned with general financial stability.

[Johnagape]

Dear Fearoflove. I think your name says it all. If you are looking for excuses not to love, then there are 1,001 or more that can easily be found. But why try so hard. Just avoid men and problem solved.

But I think there is a deeper issue here. I think you have been hurt, possibly a number of times.

Most men are descent when you get to know them. If you come over as hating men, and overly defensive, the chance is that you will meet the wrong men, and repel the decent blokes. This will keep you in a vicious circle.

Maybe you need a bit of time out and leave men alone. Also don't hang around with women who hate men; they will just wind you up.

Go over to the Mind & Body Forums here and try to get advice on self awareness and learning to be comfortable with yourself. then you might find you attract a different type of man.

[pcmaster]

Perhaps men with not so high confidence feel like they dont have much manly qualities to offer to women so they trying to compensate it in matearlistic way, like money and expensive car, big house.
I did this mistake too in the past - concetrated on making money for sake of girl who didnt even care about my money. What I did was building that kind of relationship frame where money was more importand than love. I actually ruined the girl and since she didnt find in me much as a human, since I always was working hard, being tired and didnt had time for her - she noticed materialistic things in me like money and things since it was only thing that I had left.

This is general mistake by young inexpierienced guys - they think women are gold digers when they are not. What happens thats why they actually become so. And you will see a little older girls who likes money. Perhaps at some point girls get disapointed in guys and start to think that all men are the same so at least they go with ones who have money.

[fearoflove]

I don't know any man who works hard to "obtain money to impress women". The men I know who work hard are more concerned with general financial stability.

I don't know why some people don't want to acknowledge there are plenty of men like this. In fact, many of the men I date like to flash their wealth all the time. The thing I don't understand is, why some men do that and then later down the road test the women to see if she would stay if he doesn't have that or asks if she is only with him because of the benefits he is providing.

Dear Fearoflove. I think your name says it all. If you are looking for excuses not to love, then there are 1,001 or more that can easily be found. But why try so hard. Just avoid men and problem solved.

But I think there is a deeper issue here. I think you have been hurt, possibly a number of times.

Most men are descent when you get to know them. If you come over as hating men, and overly defensive, the chance is that you will meet the wrong men, and repel the decent blokes. This will keep you in a vicious circle.

Maybe you need a bit of time out and leave men alone. Also don't hang around with women who hate men; they will just wind you up.

Go over to the Mind & Body Forums here and try to get advice on self awareness and learning to be comfortable with yourself. then you might find you attract a different type of man.

Oh God. I appreciate the concern but I don't hate men.

Perhaps men with not so high confidence feel like they dont have much manly qualities to offer to women so they trying to compensate it in matearlistic way, like money and expensive car, big house.
I did this mistake too in the past - concetrated on making money for sake of girl who didnt even care about my money. What I did was building that kind of relationship frame where money was more importand than love. I actually ruined the girl and since she didnt find in me much as a human, since I always was working hard, being tired and didnt had time for her - she noticed materialistic things in me like money and things since it was only thing that I had left.

This is general mistake by young inexpierienced guys - they think women are gold digers when they are not. What happens thats why they actually become so. And you will see a little older girls who likes money. Perhaps at some point girls get disapointed in guys and start to think that all men are the same so at least they go with ones who have money.

It gets so annoying when guys purposely withhold their generosity like going dutch because they think the girl is going after his money. Especially those insecure guys who isn't very good looking and the girl is more attractive than he is.

[Kromat83]

People that flash their wealth, have nothing else to offer, unless they are pretty confident,
but most of the time, they lack self-esteem, so they try to replace it with other things.

Going dutch works, because you don't want to have the guy to pay for everything, what does that say about her ?

I don't mind there to be compromise, but don't expect one party to do everything.

The more you realize things work, the more you know how to deal with it the next time.
Your probably just going after the wrong people, and that is what your getting.

We all try to work hard, to be financial stable, women expect something from the other, and they try to be just as supportive to not have problems financially together.

Try to go to different venues, and meet new people that fit your needs, if you don't like something, try new approaches.

[basilandthyme]

I don't know why some people don't want to acknowledge there are plenty of men like this. In fact, many of the men I date like to flash their wealth all the time. The thing I don't understand is, why some men do that and then later down the road test the women to see if she would stay if he doesn't have that or asks if she is only with him because of the benefits he is providing.

So, you actually know men like this? It speaks volumes abut those you choose to socialise with.

What social circles do you travel in?

[smackie9]

Some men are just stupid like that. They think it's normal to give their GF a credit card, and take care of them. It's the biggest mistake they could ever do, but some just do it unknowingly or just don't care.

It is instinctive for men to be the supporters and women be the nurturers. You see it in nature the male making a nest, decorating it with pretty stones, etc to attract a female.

Women do look for it, even subconsciously, because they want someone that can take care of their children.

As for women just lookin for gold, that's their business not yours. Usually it comes out one day that they are just in it for money, get kicked to the curb, left with nothing but the Gucci handbag they now have to pawn.

[Boisdevie]

I love impressing the ladies with my wealth - Ferrari, Rolex wristwatch, penthouse flat - but then I'm really shallow with a tiny dick.

[dem862]

Why do men say they hate gold diggers but work so hard to obtain money to impress women? If they are able to get attractive women with their money, do they care if she is a gold digger? Seem like they don't.

Why do [women] say they hate [players] but work so hard to [look attractive] to impress [men]? If they are able to get [wealthy men] with their [looks], do they care if he is a [player]? Seems like they don't.

[pcmaster]

It is instinctive for men to be the supporters and women be the nurturers. You see it in nature the male making a nest, decorating it with pretty stones, etc to attract a female.

Smackie I have some beautiful stones at home. Why wouldnt you come over here and take a look?

[dem862]

It is instinctive for men to be the supporters and women be the nurturers. You see it in nature the male making a nest, decorating it with pretty stones, etc to attract a female. .

The female praying mantis eats the male after sex. Let's not get too carried away with this nature stuff, m'kay?

[pcmaster]

Reminds my ex.

[CarlaW]

Why do men say they hate gold diggers but work so hard to obtain money to impress women? If they are able to get attractive women with their money, do they care if she is a gold digger? Seem like they don't.

I've been on the other side of the fence. Grew up poor but once I got money it went into the bank. Worked hard and lived cheap. Grew my own veggies in the back yard. I see a sale and stock up KNOWING next time the prices will be much HIGHER.
I have a Boyfriend now that, yes I know he loves me, does seem to let me know when he's down and out.
His car was in the shop and he didn't have the money to get it out.
I explained to him that I needed to start saving as My job was out-sourcing and I'm still a couple years away from Social Security. But I asked letting him know I can see a couple hundred, But If it's going to be a couple Thou, I can't.
Yes I love the guy. And hopefully he can move in with me and share some of these expenses. He likes going out. A Lot. He's gonna have to learn the meaning of NO!
The thing is, he says he hates asking me.

[IndiReloaded]

Money is a tool. Smart men don't show all their cards (including their wallet) until they know a women is quality. Goes the same for women with wealth also, btw.