My girlfriend has moved out. We have two small children. She says that it's a pattern. I say what I need to keep her around, but don't fulfill my promises. Things got bad the same way after the births of both our kids. I didn't really take responsibility for enough and she's found herself overloaded. I know this is very selfish. She has tried (maybe not always the right way) to reach out to me and warned me that things were getting bad. While it's my fault we're in the position that she is feeling this way, I feel like neither of us addressed our problems the right way.
At times I've started getting very angry whenever we had disagreements. I have resorted to name calling, belittling, and blame. I realize that this has worn her thin. To be reduced to nothing at the end of some days can drain a person and make them question the reasons for this. We had an argument a week ago and she left for the night. I realized at that point that I needed to make a change and am 100% committed to doing that. I've been getting help all week, looking for ways to get myself out of this hole. But she decided after the first night, to stay away another night. After that, she decided to move out. I want her to come back.
I've suggested she come back and I will take some time away and live with a family member and actively work on my problems. She doesn't think it's a good idea. I've suggested I seek counseling and that we see somebody together, but she only said she'd think about it. She wants to find her own place and thinks that the only way to keep our children from growing up in a household like they have been, is to separate. She doesn't think I can change. Any women there been in this position? I know she loves me still, she said so herself. I know that she would prefer we could be together but just feels like it would not be beneficial or healthy. What can I do? I'm trying to change and I feel like I'm making a lot of progress already. I feel like the only way she'll see that is by sticking it out. How can I prove it to her, when the problems arise from us being in a relationship. Is this just a matter of me giving her some time to let her anger and resentment subside?