Confessions of a 35 year old virgin

[MartinSims]

I chose this forum to give expression to some thoughts that i cant discuss with anyone in real life. I'm 35 years old. I'm still a virgin. The first and last time i kissed a girl was when i was 6 years old so i dont know if that counts. I last had a girlfriend when i was 14. I had several very attractive girlfriends in my early teens. But then something changed. I'm not sure what it was. Maybe it was my father that committed suicide when i was 13. Whatever the reason, i became withdrawn. I stopped hanging out with my friends. I became afraid of people. I really struggled to make eye contact and i was extremely uncomfortable in places like shopping malls where many people were gathered. At 21 i resolved to amend my ways. I started to chat to random girls on campus in the hopes of striking up a relationship but the results were discouraging. The usual response i got was "i have a boyfriend". If a girl gave me her number then she would give me the cold shoulder when i called. This only helped to lower my self-confidence and exacerbate my social anxiety. I couldn't approach people like this anymore. There were times when a girl i encountered at a store or some other public place displayed genuine interest in me. They would stare into my eyes for instance or if i was behind them they would glance back to see if im looking and be visibly excited if i were. These were very attractive girls. I was so intimidated by their looks that i could never work up the courage to talk to them. The years flew by and here i am taking stock of my life at 35. I now realize i will die in the state i am now. The weekends are the worst. During the week at least i have contact with work colleagues. I take SSRIs to cope with the depression. Im 6'2" tall. I have an athletic build. I work out regularly. Eat healthy. i dont smoke and i dont drink alcohol because it lowers testosterone and can cause gynecomastia in men. I apply moisturizing lotion to my skin and stay out of the sun to slow the aging process. Its all so futile. I refuse to go on like this. I have decided that i will employ the services of a prostitute. At this point i dont care if i get an std. How i feel afterwards will determine what my next move is. If i cant accept myself for having been with a prostitute then i will end it all. It will look like an accident so the insurance will pay out.

Thanks for listening

[CD110]

I'm a total stranger to romance of any kind, younger than you but worse prospects of 'success' to begin with (refer to my thread on the same page), however there's something that occurs to me. You seem to think a prostitute is a substitute for a partner. If sex is what you want, I suspect a prostitute may be preferable to spending time, money and effort on finding a partner. As for STDs, if you go for an escort service, and of course use a condom, you should be fine (don't take my word on this though - do your research). Oh, and don't commit suicide over other people. If you did your best, they failed you; not you them. And I refuse to believe there's no one in the world for a health-conscious, sensitive guy like you. Keep looking or give it a rest. Suicide for this is nothing short of silly.

[AnErin]

Don't be gettin with some stankin-ass hoebag prostitute. You do not know where that coochie has been and it probably has God know what STD. Hoes are bad news. Bad news.
Why not try a free dating site like plenty of fish or okcupid? Or maybe go to bars or whatever. The good news is that by mid 30's, a lot of people are divorced or just seeking a booty call.

And this -
"I have decided that i will employ the services of a prostitute." That sounds so professional like you are hiring an attorney or accountant.

[smiling100]

I'm in a similar position with you. I suspect it's a confidence thing. I was put on SSRI's for the first time in my life & had the suicidal thoughts.

My confidence was shattered by my ex from a few things she said to me when we split. I am just getting out there now, I thought it was pointless dating again when your character has been shattered. I am also similar to yourself. An athletic, fit, handsome guy. I've never had trouble getting a date how ever if your confidence is non existent it's pointless & your potential partner will feel this. It's not all about looks, you need to be happy within yourself.

I actually think a hooker might be an option. At least you don't have to chat her up so to speak so the ice is broken. Just enjoy the physicality & get back in the game. Look at it as a stepping stone. Then try online dating, the good thing with online dating is you don't have to sift through who is single & who isn't & being rejected in public isn't much fun. If you get rejected online who cares You will get women show some interest.

My advice is a nice photo of you smiling. If you've got an athletic body, I wouldn't have a picture of you flexing your muscles. Maybe a full length shot showing the shape of your body. Leave something to their imagination.

It may be a little daunting at first & the hooker option is not compulsory though my advice is what have you got to lose? You're are 35 & still in the prime of your life.



Good luck

[Kromat83]

Dancing has lots of single women there, closer to your age actually.
I go to socials often, and it's a good way to have conversations with multiple women in 1 night, while enjoying a night out.

Your forcing yourself to get a girl, I don't think finding someone on campus was the problem, you didn't love yourself and it showed.

Most important is to actually get some friends and find some interesting hobbies to do.

Lots of social events out there, with potential single women, your looking in the wrong places.
Your mind is wrapped around losing your virginity, that you can't just take your time and get to know the girl, being different from what they usually expect.

If she likes you enough and love is starting to form, everything will happen when the timing is right.

[pcmaster]

You shouldnt stop approaching girls when you were in campus. Maybe you just need few interests to bring out best of you. You know it wasnt what you do but what you are. Now when you older many girls been tru lot of jerks and they have lowered their expectations in men. You could find a trustful women easier. First find how friendly she can be(connect on social level) and then see if you can connect emotionaly, have chemistry. The women at your age are great. They know what man needs and are understanding.

Hookers are great man. Not nessesary to bang them but some people hire hookers just to talk to them. You could talk with attractive women and get you confidence back in few hours. Then use this confidence in life.

Actually you could visit a bootcamp and let pickup artist teach you stuff. In this way you end up with some life expierience(and skill) that you can use later on.

Check this guide man

loveforum.net/threads/85674-Guide-on-interacting-with-girls

[smiling100]

Now when you older many girls been tru lot of jerks and they have lowered their expectations in men. You could find a trustful women easier.

Serious.

My ex is looking for Superman & i'm pretty sure she is not going to find him. Her expectations are way to high.

[Kromat83]

Serious.

My ex is looking for Superman & i'm pretty sure she is not going to find him. Her expectations are way to high.

Your finding the wrong women, i don't see why your so obsessed about what one person thinks.
She wasn't right for you, so get over it, and find someone that is.

It might take longer, but be worth it in the long run.

[michelle23]

You could join a dating site and try to meet someone. Or if you just want sex, theres loads of those shady sites now with people looking for **** buddies etc. Seriously theres so many people willing to spread their legs for free, I am surprised prostitutes are still around.

Why didnt your mother get you help when you were 13? Im amazed any parent would let their child go through all that alone...

[dem862]

The only thing you will get from a young, hot, sexy escort is wild sex. You will be missing out on the fun part of a dating relationship like kissing her ass, paying for her dinner, trying to get her in the mood, dealing with her mood swings, game-playing and emotional abuse.

p.s. never ask a woman her opinion about prostitutes. It's like asking the CEO of McDonalds what he thinks of Burger King.

[michelle23]

Dem a large % of men would agree with our opinion. And I have seen documentaries on prostitutes as well as pictures of them in the paper. Most of them are not even pretty lol. Its sad, pathetic and desperate

[smiling100]

Dem a large % of men would agree with our opinion. And I have seen documentaries on prostitutes as well as pictures of them in the paper. Most of them are not even pretty lol. Its sad, pathetic and desperate

It's interesting you say that it's sad, pathetic & desperate because you are probably correct kinda.

I've had a few hookers & they were all gorgeous. One was absolutely stunning. She just loved sex & getting paid for it was a bonus. The first time I had a hooker my confidence was down like MartinSims who started this thread & it did get me back in the game after a 10 year relationship breakup. I wasn't ready for a relationship but I hadn't had sex for over a year & I did not want to to use someone for sex.

I'm being totally honest here. It's not just ugly guys that get hookers. 80-90% of guys have got a hooker when they have been single & they will never ever tell their girlfriend that. No way, it's a deal breaker in a relationship. You try getting a high class hooker on a Fri or Sat night. If you haven't pre booked good luck. In saying that there is no way would I would even think about paying a hooker on the street corner.

Did it ever cross your mind Michelle that lots of hookers have profiles on those shady online sex sites & when messaged they say they will have sex with them for $$$.

- - - Updated - - -

Your finding the wrong women, i don't see why your so obsessed about what one person thinks.
She wasn't right for you, so get over it, and find someone that is.

It might take longer, but be worth it in the long run.

I'm trying to get over it.

I hate that saying "get over it". Do you honestly think I don't want to get over it?

I'm going on another date Friday night. I don't expect her to be the next love of my life though i'm trying to move forward. I'm sick of sitting on the couch feeling sorry for myself.