Lying about stupid things

[BusyBee]

I think I'll ask you ladies as well

I have a little question here and I need a guy to answer.
Ok so me and my boyfriend have been together 4 years now and it's all going fine and by that I'll include the sex part just in case one of you thinks that is the problem.

My main issue is that he lies or tells half truths about ridiculous things, making me wonder if he lies about other things too.
One example is on Tuesday, I got a text message that was clearly not for me, I had an appointment at the vet and left work early and he knew that and we don't work at the same place.
But in the train home, I got a text saying you can come up now, I'm on my own. I decided to ask him directly in the evening, all them text explanation end up causing arguments.
So, in the evening, I asked him if he'd had a private chat with somebody at work, and he said no. Busy afternoon didn't chat with anybody.
I showed him the tex and he said, oh yeah, Mandy had trouble with her boyfriend and wanted to talk about it. So I said why didn't you say first.
Then he said, well I knew you'd cause an argument. I wouldn't have because I know that Mandy and her boyfriend and they do argue quite a lot, but then lying to me did cause an argument.
Last time, I met one of his old work colleagues, and she said, I heard you went for a nice trip, I said of did you, and she told me she was regularly in contact with him and was surprised I didn't know.
So my idea is one, is is keeping those women warm for later. Two, it's not the only thing he is laying about.

[HeartIsAching]

He's lying about a lot more than that.

He's cheating on you. That's obvious.

[dem862]

Compulsive liers lie about stupid things. Has he ever asked you to be a party to any of his lies to other people? That is a good indication he lies to you as well.

[BusyBee]

Compulsive liers lie about stupid things. Has he ever asked you to be a party to any of his lies to other people? That is a good indication he lies to you as well.

No, he hasn't but he does get all aggressive when I find out about a lie

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One of my workmates suggested, he is doing it to make me jalous so he is sure I stay with him

[bessieb]

I would say if he's hiding things from you and getting defensive when questioned, there's a lot more going on than just an innocent chat with work colleagues. However that being said, some people, guys and girls included have txt/chat conversations with others and deem them to be innocent, however their significant other might see it differently. You need to talk to him, you can't control who he talks to or when but you can tell him what is and isn't acceptable to you in the relationship.

[dem862]

No, he hasn't but he does get all aggressive when I find out about a lie

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One of my workmates suggested, he is doing it to make me jalous so he is sure I stay with him

Well, that kind of game playing is kinda sophisticated for a guy. It's not impossible, but with most guys, what you see is what you get.

[BusyBee]

Ok, I decided to have a serious chat with him last night. We sat down and I told him that I wasn't going to accept those lies anymore. So either he was being truthful from now on or I was putting an end to it.
He sais that he was avoiding telling me things because he didn't want an argument. I said that hiding things was always going to cause an argument and if there was nothing to hide then why lie.
I reckon thought about whether he really just enjoys the fact of knowing that women find him attractive. And told him so.
And I made it clear that it was the last time, if I had any doubts again, I wouldn't wait to have a proof, I would just dump it

[bekho]

Nice!

Sent from my Nexus 4 using Tapatalk

[MyWhite]

Hes a cheat trust me

[michelle23]

Ya he really is a cheat. Open your eyes and stop letting him manipulate you. Why did you post this twice?

[BusyBee]

wasn't sure if the guys would go on here

[michelle23]

Everyone sees your post in "new posts" (top left hand corner) so only need to post once in future

Are you living with him? If no, how often do you see him?

[BusyBee]

No, we don't live together. Talked about it a year ago but then his situation changed as his on came to mive with him and he still has 3 years left at school. We discussed him moving in with me as my place is closer to our jobs. He stays at my place twice a week and I go over for Saturday night. We see each other in the train every morning as we have a similar workway

[BusyBee]

Frankly, I'm not sure now, he says it's my fault as I'm being suspicious and I say I'm suspicious because he is lying, it's a bit of a viscious circle

[michelle23]

Thats more of a red flag. Your only with him 3nights per week and hes lying, getting defensive etc. I think you already know hes a cheat but you refuse to admit it to yourself without proof. Lie detector test?