is it a bad idea to talk to a possibly shy guy about if he's shy...?

[aleyvu]

This guy... I believe he's clearly into me from the past two months, but over the past week, his interest seems to have died down. I might have acted too "friendly" with him and he believes I'm not interested... I always act friendly with everyone, unless proven otherwise, so I now regret acting overly friend-zoney towards him... because I do like him... but I'm also very shy and cautious myself...

Well, today he seemed to show that he's still pretty awkward around me and fumbles around, but enjoys/wants to talk with me... so I hope he's still into me and it didn't completely fade? :s

I'd like to let him know that I'm into him. I'm concluding here and there that he's never going to make the first move, because he's either too shy or fearful of rejection because I'm almost 100% sure he now believes that I only see him as a friend. How do I let him know first that I DO like him, before I go and ask him out directly? I'm shy myself, so this doesn't help the situation... :s I'm not a flirt at all. I'd prefer to try different ways of letting him know clearly that I like him, before I go and decide to make the first bold move... what should I do/say?

I'd say we're decent friends, though not close. Is it a bad idea to start a conversation with him about whether he thinks he's shy or not...? I mean, it sounds iffy to me already, but I'm also naturally curious about these kinds of topics anyway... Would asking a question like that just scare him off?

I basically need any advice. I don't want to miss out on him, just because we're both too shy. All comments welcome!

We are in college-

[basilandthyme]

What about getting a mutual friend involved? Someone who can ask him how he feels...and if it's positive, let him know that you feel the same way.

[aleyvu]

What about getting a mutual friend involved? Someone who can ask him how he feels...and if it's positive, let him know that you feel the same way.

I considered doing this, but... I'm more comfortable just directly talking with him about whatever is necessary, instead of getting a bunch of other people involved and aware of the situation.

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What about asking him... if he would ask someone out himself if he liked them? Or is that even crazier? LOL

[basilandthyme]

What about just asking him out? Seems to me that being 'shy' is an excuse to not take a risk.

[aleyvu]

Alright, I'll try.. how best to ask him out? I shouldn't ask through facebook chat right?

I can't find an appropriate time to ask something like this, because I only ever see him in a quiet room with everyone working in close proximity... if I do anything at all, I really don't want people hearing me ask him out... I can't think of where to ask in private besides facebook chat...

[basilandthyme]

You say that he is a friend.....but you only ever see him in the quiet room. Do you actually have conversations with him? Have you ever shared a laugh or a joke?

[aleyvu]

You say that he is a friend.....but you only ever see him in the quiet room. Do you actually have conversations with him? Have you ever shared a laugh or a joke?

We've gone on trips with a couple other friends before, and that's all friendly and great. He's been messaging me on facebook chat almost every day, for hours a day, for the past two months, sending me cute dog pictures and talking with me about dog topics, which is a subject I'm very passionate about, and whatnot. I mean... I can go on... you can trust me that we are friends... Just at this particular point in the semester (we're in school), for the next few weeks, we have a very tight deadline so we're only ever in that classroom working with everyone else... literally pulling all-nighters and all-dayers in that room... or eating or sleeping. People still do talk in the classroom, but it's with quiet voices, and everyone around you can hear what you are saying.

(just using the word "classroom" vaguely..)

[basilandthyme]

OK. If the room at school is so quiet....and you and he get on really well on FB chat, then I reckon FB chat is the way to go