How do I know what this guy is thinking??

[KellyH]

In December of 2013 I met this guy when I went to visit a friend. We were going out for her birthday and we all ended up getting pretty drunk. To say the least I don’t remember getting to the bar (horrible decision, I know) but I do remember hanging out at my friend’s house and having a good time with this guy and I thought he was cute. We became fb friends but nothing else happened because I was still in a relationship and we were on the break up path so I didn't want things getting messy.

Then in February I went to visit my friend again and he met up with us again. He was a little sour about me giving him my number when I still had a bf but we ended up dancing together that night and having drinks. We talked a bit after that but it fizzled out as I was still getting over my break up and he didn't want to get in the middle of that.

Then last weekend he messaged me on fb (since he still hadn’t sent me his phone number) and we just started talking like friendly people do. It all started out normal and we talked about hanging out again soon. Then we got into some more serious conversation because he didn’t understand why I kinda led him on while I was still in a relationship. I explained to him that I wanted to break up with my ex but we thought about trying to make it work but that we both eventually realized the break up was the best option to make us both happier. This guy had a few harsh questions for me (that I deserved) but we still have continued to talk and make some plans for this weekend.

I guess I’m confused because of a few things he told me about himself. He said that he's been in two serious long term relationships and only had sex with two people and they both ended badly for him (at least one of them cheated) and now he just wants to have fun. I'm not sure if he's just saying that because he's afraid of getting hurt or what?? He also told me that he always had to pursue the girls and now he just wants someone to notice that he's worth fighting for too. I told him that I was trying to show him that and that I wanted to get to know him but that if he ever wasn't feeling us anymore he should let me know. He said that it might take him some time to figure things out... Finally he's also worried that I may need too much attention. He will go all day without responding to my texts but then want to text me all night long. I understand that people are busy but I mentioned this to him and he said that he's not sure how he feels about me being independent because he's afraid that when he's doing his own thing I'll get confused or go do something with someone else.... I mean we just started talking! Right now I just wasn't sure if he was trying to stop talking to me or if he seriously was busy...

Anyways... I don't know how to deal with this guy. I think he could be a really great bf one day if he could get over his issues that came from past relationships and see me as a girls that wants to try and see where this goes. I'm willing to give it a chance. What do you guys think of him? Do you think he just needs someone to show him they care? Will he end up being this stubborn forever? And should I travel 2 hours to see him this weekend?

Thanks for the help!

[Wakeup]

Anyways... I don't know how to deal with this guy. I think he could be a really great bf one day if he could get over his issues

Then why are you bothering with him? You've admitted he has issues and that is a red flag. Find a guy that doesn't have ex issues. A guy that doesn't just want to "have fun now" Don't be his playmate for that fun while you try to win him over. That's just desperate and dangerous for you with regards to your own emotional well being. You've just left a relationship yourself. Take some time to come to terms with that and to reflect on it so you learn from your mistakes. No point in not doing that and then making the same ones again.

I'm willing to give it a chance.

Then you're desperate to be in a relationship with someone who isn't ready to be in one. Don't settle for someone who doesn't want a relationship. That is just a recipe for your broken heart.

What do you guys think of him? Do you think he just needs someone to show him they care?

Oh puleeeze don't be one of those girls that thinks she can fix a broken boy. It never ever works out in your favor. Find someone who doesn't need fixing and will appreciate your loving attention. This one will just take advantage of it.

Will he end up being this stubborn forever? And should I travel 2 hours to see him this weekend?

Oh my goodness. Not only does he "just want to have fun now." Not only does he have ex issues. Not only the fact YOU CAN'T fix him. He lives long distance and those types of relationships have piss poor success rates even when there are none of the issues I see with your situ.

Surely there are men in your town that don't have all these negatives attached to them?

Thanks for the help!

You're welcome. I hope you're smart enough to see beyond the "hope."

[KellyH]

You are totally right. I don't need that in my life when there are other guys out there that will not do this to me! Thank you for the 'Wakeup'