How long should I wait

[polly1122333]

Hi guys, thank you for reading
I meet a guy from a group, like a hobby group, we meet up on Sunday morning every week. so I met him a bit over a month ago, we added each other on fb, and the last couple of weeks we have been chatting everyday, yesterday he told me he's in limbo from a relationship, and he told me she cheated on him and they broke up round about the time we met. at the moment we are just friends, nothing happened, we have been flirting a bit, but also I found out we share quite a few interests, and I feel we could take things further, but since he told me he just broke up with his girl friend not so long ago, I'm hesitant .... they had been together for 2 years. so I guess what I would like to ask, how long should I wait, or what signs should I look for to tell he is over the break up?

[Mattiemae]

Just take things slow and allow things to happen naturally. Really it is just when he feels he is ready to move on, which he will tell you himself what he can and can't handle. Just take things one day at a time and enjoy his company and find out whether he is someone you'd like to be with? There is no right or wrong way. There is no rush!

[basilandthyme]

Just let him take the lead. But keep dating in the meantime

[Tall Penguin]

Yeah, keep dating elsewhere. If this guys is super special keep in touch, but his story doesn't jibe to me. He's either still in a relationship or the breakup is not as advanced as he is saying.

Little too convenient for me, "Oh yeah, and like totally when i met you I was breaking up". Nah.

Don't invest your precious heart too much in this guy unless you really like him AND you are given physical evidence of a breakup.

[bekho]

It'll take years for him to move on.

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[mwtzzz]

they had been together for 2 years. so I guess what I would like to ask, how long should I wait, or what signs should I look for to tell he is over the break up?

Ask him once every couple weeks if he has started dating again.

[polly1122333]

Yeah, keep dating elsewhere. If this guys is super special keep in touch, but his story doesn't jibe to me. He's either still in a relationship or the breakup is not as advanced as he is saying.

Little too convenient for me, "Oh yeah, and like totally when i met you I was breaking up". Nah.

Don't invest your precious heart too much in this guy unless you really like him AND you are given physical evidence of a breakup.

Now that you mentioned it yeah it does sound a bit convenient. Thank you.

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[polly1122333]

yesterday we had a big event for this hobby group and we went together, he stayed at mine the night before as we had to leave early yesterday morning, we chatted, watched tv together, we were sitting close together, that night he slept in the spare bedroom, and I slept at my room, and he already asked if it was ok to stay at mine after the event, since he have to go to work at 6am the next morning (he lives about 3 hours away) and I agreed. we had a great time at the event, and we spent the whole day together, when we got home last night, he looked at me seriously and said he really like me, but wanted to be clear that he is not completely out the of ex situation, and hope I understand, I told him I understand and appreciate him being honest, and I told him I like him too but at the same time very scared of getting hurt, after that he kissed me on my forehead, we looked at each other for .... god feel like forever, and we kissed.... and had sex... about an hour later, his father called, and said his brother is having health issues (he has long term health problems) and needed him to be home, and he tried talking to his brother and told him he didn't want to get back can he manage without him so on.... about 2 phone calls later, I told him if he need to go home I understand, and he said he's sorry, he feel really bad... anyway he left...
today he txt and said he feel bad about having to go last night and I told him I understand and if he had stayed he would feel bad not being there for his brother, and I didn't want to be selfish. and then he said he's that issue, he think I need to be a little bit selfish in regards to my needs. and he said he appreciate my understanding as he hope he appreciate and understand my position and such that he feel inequality prepared or positioned to get involved, he said the fact that he choose to go last night while I was vulnerable told him that he's not ready. he said he doesn't want to make excuses but as bad as it feels now, it would potentially be worse in a few months time.....
I told him I'm disappointed that he knew he didn't want anything further and still kissed me anyway... he said he's sorry, but that he can't offer more than friendship. He said I deserve to have a face to face chat, should I go? Should I stay friends with him? We do share the same hobby group so I will see him again.
your advice would be very much appreciated. thank you in advance.

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[hugblue]

Get away while you can.
There is alot of great men out there.