How do I know I can trust him now?

[KellyH]

Hey guys. So I dated this guy for about 4 months and we were having a lot of fun (we live in different cities but we would go to visit one another almost every weekend and talk on the phone/texted everyday) until one time I went to visit him and asked what we were and he freaked out and got really quiet and slowly we just stopped talking. I was sad and upset, of course, but I eventually got over it and started dating other guys and had started a new relationship.

While I was in my other relationship he reached out to me said that he was truly sorry for the way that he acted and that he had a tendency to 'freak out' when women get too close but that he figured out that he did want that someone special in his life and was going to work on himself. I was friendly and accepted his apology but I was in a relationship so nothing besides friendly chat continued between us.

We were on/off talking as friends and he was always the one that contacted me first. About a month ago he asked if he could stay at my place for a night because he had a plane to catch in the early morning. I agreed and we made plans to go to dinner that night when he got to town. It wasn't until the night before that he found out that I had broken up with my bf because he asked if my bf would be joining us for dinner and I said no because I didn't have one anymore. He said he was sorry and I explained that it was all for the best and I was ok.

Anyways, the night that he said at my place we had a great time, we've hung out since then and now we have been talking daily. He has made some comments about having a great girl and he is always planning for future weekends.

Truthfully, I'm nervous. I like him, I think we have great chemistry and always have a fun time but how do I know he's not going to freak out like last time? Even if he's not ready for a relationship I'm ok with that but he has to able to communicate that to me just so we are on the same page. Do I ask him when I see him next or should I give it some more time? What do you guys think he's thinking?

[michelle23]

First of all you are an idiot. Have you slept with him again without comittment? You know there is a saying "fool me once, shame on you but fool me twice, shame on me"

I really think you need to figure out what is wrong with you that your not learning from past mistakes and keep letting losers make a twit out of you

[KingZ]

Hey Kelly! Don't mind Michelle. She's the forum's bitter leprechaun.

I went to visit him and asked what we were and he freaked out and got really quiet and slowly we just stopped talking.

Can you go into a bit more detail on what happened here? How did you approach this?

[KellyH]

One weekend we planned for me to come visit him so when I got there we went to one of his work parties, then out with his friends, went on a date and also met up with one of my friends. On Sunday morning were just hanging out and I just turned to him and said something like 'So I'm just curious what are we?' If I remember correctly he said that he wasn't really sure and didn't say much besides that. I realize now that I should have asked more questions but in that moment I didn't... After I left that weekend he didn't call as much as before and stopped making plans for future weekends.

I understand that I can be dumb sometimes but he's the one that kept talking to me and contacted me to apologized to me when he knew I had a boyfriend and he didn't have a chance at that time. I didn't openly and easily accept his apology either because I was a bitter about it. I also think I would be much more comfortable confronting him on the topic now because we know each other better.... but if I am just being an idiot then I guess that is good to know as well.

If more information would be helpful let me know.

[michelle23]

Kingz doesnt even know me. Hes seen about 5 of my posts out of like 10,000 so whatever..

You didnt answer my qs. Are you sleeping with him again? It does sound like he just saw an opportunity to get laid and took it. He sounds like a douche

[KingZ]

She's also bitter because she's sent me a flood of messages asking for nudes. I ignored all of them.

Kelly, there are only two options, here:

1) He's not interested in a full commitment, and it sounds like you are. You should drop him.
2) He's interested in a full commitment, but is either too much of a pussy, is scouting out other options, or is playing games with you. You should drop him.

Am I missing something?

[KellyH]

Yes I have. I do see what your saying but when he stayed with me over a month ago he thought I still had a bf that was going to come out to dinner with all of us... it wasn't until the night before that he found out I didn't. I also don't understand why he would take the time to call or text me every day and have real conversations with me if he's just looking to get laid?

- - - Updated - - -

Sorry I just saw your reply KingZ... I have just one more question... does it matter at all that we've only been more serious again about a month or less? Could he still come around?

If you guys think its better to just drop him then I will take the advice because I'm not looking to get hurt.

[KingZ]

If you guys think its better to just drop him then I will take the advice because I'm not looking to get hurt.

What you said here is critical, because it puts the power in your hands, and not his. I would try again to ask him what he wants. If he pulls the "I don't know" card for the second time (which I'm sure he will), then get rid of him. I think he knows what you want, and for him to waste your time is very selfish.

[michelle23]

RME kingz

Hes avoiding the whole "what are we" talk again. If he was really into you he would have brought it up. I still think hes an ass but you should have that conversation again and if you dont get the answers your hoping for-cut him off and this time for good.

Actions speak louder than words. If a guys really into you, he will introduce you to his family, double date with friends, want to spend a lot of time with you and wont just turn up occasionally for sex.

[KingZ]

Turns out Michelle is a cross mutation between a leprechaun and a princess. Due to her leprechaun genes (and more importantly, the distinct lack of gold), the Irish Monarchy has distanced themselves from her and left her in poverty, where she spends all of her time calling men asses and telling women they can do better. She also enjoys long, pleasant walks on the coast.

[michelle23]

Get a life kingz. Your ocd with my posts is humorous. Do you have a secret leprechaun fetish?

[KingZ]

Do you have a secret leprechaun fetish?

There she goes again, trying to seduce me. ^

NO MICHELLE, I WILL NOT SHOW YOU NUDES