Choosing between two

[Kate-123]

So I’m in the horrible predicament of essentially having to choose between two guys, although I think I’ve already chosen. I guess I need some validation that I’m making the right choice, and some advice on how to break the news to someone.

I met a guy, Jack, almost 2 months ago online. We met up and got on really well right from the start. We have a lot of chemistry, and he has a lot of traits that I value highly – he’s fun, respectful, intelligent, driven and loves his family. The main issue is, however, that he lives 1.5 hours away and I don’t have a car yet. He is also ridiculously busy, coaching and playing soccer, working and studying. I’ve spoken to him and he says this isn’t an ideal time for him to have a relationship, but he really likes me and wants to keep seeing and talking to me. He said that things will start to calm down soon, and once I get a car things will be much better. I’ve been pretty confused over the last few weeks because he keeps sending mixed signals, but he insists he likes me.

A few weeks ago I met another guy online, Mason. We also get on really well, and have heaps to talk about. The problem is, however, that we don’t have that same chemistry as Jack and I have. Mason also lives 1.5 hours away, but he spends a lot of time near where I live for uni. The good thing about Ben is that we talk all the time, and he always wants to spend time together. On the other hand, Jack can’t spend much time with me, and I don’t get to speak to him very often.

So now I’m stuck trying to decide between these two. I really, really like Jack, but he’s not ready for a relationship and isn’t very available. I also really like Ben, but it just doesn’t feel right. Mason has made it very clear that he wants to see me exclusively, so I can’t even really see how things pan out over the next few weeks/months.

I’ve pretty much decided that I’ll wait for Jack, even though he has said that he wants me to be happy so I can date someone else if I want. But I don’t know how to tell Mason. He is the sweetest guy, and I really don’t want to break his heart. He seems to be quite invested in this relationship, even though we haven’t known each other for long. I would love to be able to continue talking to, and hanging out with him as friends. How do I tell him?

[suddenlynothing]

Tell mason your not ready for a relationship and that would like to continue being friends, then wait for jacks shit to calm down then you can get with him, like you know you want to.

Also count yourself lucky that your in this fortunate position.

[lalalita]

I think it was Johnny Depp who said something along the lines of, "If you find yourself in love with two people, pick the second. You wouldn't have fallen for the second if you really loved the first."

[Wakeup]

even though we haven’t known each other for long. I would love to be able to continue talking to, and hanging out with him as friends. How do I tell him?

Don't be a selfish twat. He wants a romantic girlfriend not to be some chick he barely knows turning him into her male GIRLfriend. If you don't want him cut all contact and tell him you've come to realize that you're not a good match, wish him luck and then don't reply to anything else from him.

[KingZ]

Wakeup's response may have been too much, but the gist of what she's saying is absolutely dead on.

People don't just get opportunities for relationships and turn them down because of obstacles like this that are, in the grand scheme of things, minor at best. He isn't currently interested in a relationship, and that isn't going to change.

Which of these men have you slept with?

[Wakeup]

Yea.. I gotta learn to keep it shorter. My bad.

[KingZ]

If you weren't Canadian, I would still love you.

[Wakeup]

Whoops don't know what happened there but it ALL got deleted anyway. lol

The short of it. He's not interested in anything other then sex with you and he'd be entirely in control as to when that happened. Men who have lots of options are the ones that suggest you date other men because they themselves are dating other women.

You just want to use mason as your backup so you won't be without male attention while you wait for Jack so don't be THAT woman and let Mason alone to find someone who actually wants to be with him in a romantic sense. That is why he is on a dating site afterall.

- - - Updated - - -

If you weren't Canadian, I would still love you.

Haha... fair enough.